Life

These days I don't really feel like I have much to write about. I am still pregnant, and it still feels pretty surreal. My burgeoning belly is helping things sink in a little at a time. A while ago Clara told me, "Your bottom is getting bigger!" Thank you, dear.

We are now business owners as well as commercial real estate owners. Michael and I went on a walk yesterday morning, and I was expressing my concerns (aka worries). He smiled and said, "You really don't do well with uncertainty, do you?" Nope. Unless it's fun uncertainty, like choosing what to have for breakfast.

But the reality of being self-employed is that there is a risk. I realized, however, after our conversation that there is a risk inherent in everything, even being employed by someone else. Life is not about being in control and making everything neat and tidy, a statement I know to be true but consistently try to disprove.

Michael loves what he does (and is quite good at it), which makes it all worth it. And being on a team with the Lord and my husband, how can we possibly lose?

(Confession: I totally took this pic by myself on timer just so I could show you guys what my office looked like and sport my semi-straight hair that lasted less than 48 hours.)

I have also started working at the practice--just 5-10 hours a week--and I do enjoy it, although it is intimidating. I do the books, which is basically like keeping track of your own household finances (which I enjoy as well) but on a larger scale.

I have also been keeping busy as our pack cubmaster. I have to say, these boys are hilarious and I love interacting with them, even though I get stressed out about it every Wednesday.

 

 
We held our first pinewood derby two weeks ago. The boys were so excited and just about jumping off the walls. Good times.

Hyrum has been busy with basketball games and practice, but yesterday evening we went to a benefit dinner and auction together as a family for a friend of ours who is battling cancer.

I'd never actually been to an auction before where the guy is talking a million miles a minute. Michael bid on this cake:

It looked pretty amazing and was quite moist (ooh, hate that word!), but I was disappointed that the frosting was almond-flavored. I like raw almonds but can't stand almond flavoring. Not sure why.

Guess I had more to say than I thought. Happy February!

Birthday festivities

 Birthday cake-making.

Birthday breakfast in bed (her choice of cereal).

 Birthday lunch.

Birthday cake.

Birthday fun.

Seven years ago . . .

. . . we brought a bundle home from the hospital.

I was a bit emotional that day.

Seven seems so much older than six. Seven is only one year before eight. Yikes!

 We loved her before she was even born.

 She is a bookworm like her mama.

 She loves playing with her daddy.

 Her smile is one of the best on earth.

 Sometimes she is serious, but most of the time she is happy.

She has her own sense of style and loves to be pretty but especially wants to feel comfortable. (No tags, too-tight elastics, jeans, or funky seams, please.)

Yesterday she told me, "Tomorrow I am turning seven! And I am going to sleep in for-ev-er." (Poor kid has to get up about 6:30 to get ready for the bus.)

What a joy she is. How proud we are of her. During her IEP meeting yesterday, the assistant principal, commented, "Clara is a very special girl. She knows everybody and everybody [the teachers, especially] know her."

Other things I love about her:

1. She says hi to teachers when she see walks down the hall at school.
2. She is very creative--she informed me this week that she wanted to be a compass rose for Halloween this year.
3. She loves her stuffed animals and dollies. (We recently had to make a "two-animal only" rule for bed because she was putting 7 or so in with her each night, in addition to an extra blanket and a particular toy or two.)
4. She wants to make good choices and makes them everyday.
5. She gives good squeeze hugs and loves to be held, even still.
6. Her laugh is so infectious it makes you laugh. She sometimes laughs so hard she pees her pants.

We wouldn't trade her for any other kid in the whole world.

How to expect when you're not expecting it

{Thanks so much for all the kind words. When you've been trying to have a baby for so long, the new arrival somehow becomes everyone's baby when you know you've been prayed for by so many.}


"Advice" for women who (1) haven't given birth yet, or (2) haven't given birth in a really long time:

1. Recognize that even something that has been prayed for, fasted for, hoped for, and dreamed for still might make you nervous and almost wish it hadn't happened, at least at first while you're leaning over the toilet . . . or the bowl . . . or the sink . . . or the potato chip bag.

2. The puking does end . . . at least I haven't puked since Sunday. Those who puke all nine months get an extra star on their chart and extra blessings for having more than one child.

3. Your family won't die if they eat junk and fast food for three months. Your food budget might suffer, though, and you just might develop some bad habits. (Thanks for the Chick-fil-A at lunch, honey!)

4. Celebrate the little things:
       - sleeping in and not working out means you get to wake up when your kid does
       - watching your family down a salad like they haven't seen one in weeks (because they probably haven't) is enjoyable
       - taking a shower and putting on make-up every day is a huge accomplishment
       - dusting and mopping is a luxury for the whole and healthy and you will survive if you don't do it for a while
       - ditto on the shower

5. If you want to have a baby, you apparently really do have to get rid of nearly all your baby stuff (did in summer 2011) as well as adopt. Thanks for joining our family, Hyrum!
 

Unexpected doesn't mean unwelcome. We are very grateful and feel incredibly blessed. But frankly, we felt blessed before this pregnancy, too. We have continually felt the Lord's love, even when we didn't understand the plan.

Now we just need to get used to the idea of being a family of four. And now that I'm becoming human again with the first trimester on the outs, I'm starting to get excited about that.

No beating around the bush

I am pregnant again, apparently this time for real. Due 7 July 2011. I'll be fifteen weeks this weekend. My children will be nearly seven and a half years apart.

After 5+ years, which included such niceties as oodles of blood vials, genetic testing, fertility treatment, three miscarriages, doubt, despair, guilt, and apathy, we had come to a good place . . . a place of peace where we recognized that the Lord loved us and wasn't withholding a child from me because I wasn't a good mom to Clara or I couldn't handle another or I was unworthy or whatever other illogical reasons my brain was trying to come up with.

We had decided to save for in vitro in the next year or two. The nearest clinic is in Charlottesville, which is an hour away--I wasn't relishing the idea, but I was mentally gearing up for it. We had gotten used to having one child and I had almost stopped feeling bad whenever people said, "Do you just have the one?" I had even come to the point where the idea of only having Clara was fine.

And then out of the blue, not only did we get pregnant again, but it actually stuck.

Lots more thoughts to come, but meanwhile, we are doing well and are surprised but thankful.

Christmas 2011

Hooray--I found my camera! I had no less than two dreams about my camera but then awoke without remembering where I had dreamt it was. I'm so glad I found it anyway.

Christmas was a little bit crazy this year and we didn't get to spend enough time with our families. Still, that always seems to be the way it is when we travel down to Atlanta.

This Christmas was full of Clara's anticipation and excitement. She couldn't wait to go to Atlanta to see Grandma and Grandpa and Nana and Bapa. Singing Christmas songs, decorating the house, the tree, etc., brought great joy.

She even managed to smuggle the baby Jesus from our nativity set to school one day. Apparently He even helped her make good choices in class.

Christmas Eve was the Joseph and Mary dinner at the Weilers. Here the grandkids (sans Clara?) are eating on the floor, ancient style (ie they're supposed to be reclining). We were very impressed that no grape juice was spilled.

I am KICKING myself that I didn't get more pictures with the Weilers. Aaargggghhh.

 I had big plans to make ornaments with the grandkids and took pics of them and then didn't print them out. What a great aunt I am.

We were treated to a visit from the Grinch, an old family friend who retells the Grinch story famously. I remember this from my own childhood and our kids were enchanted.

  So were the adults.

Clara got reindeer dust from school (steel-cut oats and glitter), so she and her cousins, Anna and Charlotte, sprinkled it on the front steps so that the reindeer could find their way to our house. 

I am sure my parents were thrilled when they discovered I forgot to sweep it up the next morning and they had to do it for me. So sorry...

 It was pretty magical, I have to say.

Christmas morning! We open stockings first. I love bedhead pictures (of other people), don't you?

 Lining up to go in to open presents . . . gee, these kids looked thrilled.

 I got what I wanted: new slippers!

I love this pic of my brother Ben and his new son, William. Cute cute cute.

Clara was sad when we came home to Harrisonburg and took down our Christmas decorations. But I reminded her that Christmas will come again this year and we get to put them all up again. That was a comforting thought.

Lost but hopefully found soon

Hey folks--please forgive my long hiatus...

I can't find my camera after coming home from Atlanta for Christmas and don't love my posts without pics. I took some (hopefully) good pictures, and I will be devastated if I have permanently misplaced it. I will keep hunting for it.

In other news, I introduced Clara to the musical "Singin' in the Rain" over the holiday, and I was so happy that she liked it so much.

I always find it interesting watching movies as an adult that I enjoyed when I was younger. Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking, but I confess that in this case I am still wooed by Gene Kelly's athletic dancing and terrific smile.

Some Christmas spirit

This gal sure blew us away in our Christmas concert at school. Love the end.

The Christmas parade

Our congregation at church participated in the Harrisonburg Christmas Parade. The theme was "Snowmen at Night" or something, but we did the Nativity instead. Gotta remember the real meaning of the season, right?

Clara wanted to participate. We weren't sure whether she really would when it came right down to it, but she did so well.

 Our float was rather humble, but so was the stable in Bethlehem, right?

 It was a cooollld night, but fortunately Clara was warm in her sheep costume layered over a coat, sweater, and turtleneck. She was quite the trooper. All the kids were, actually. They sung Christmas songs while they were waiting and waved to the parade watchers.

I also had to include this random picture of Michael with the Chick-fil-A cow and his float. I have to mention that Clara is both in love with and freaked out by these big dressed-up people. They scared me when I was a kid and I had (have) no desire to hug or give one a high-five. Clara gets so excited by them, though. Pretty funny.

It was a fun experience--I had never been in a parade before, and I was amazed at how many people were out there in such weather. Good times.

A Saturday morning

With the busyness that we've been experiencing 'round these parts lately, we're just grateful that it doesn't take too much to make this girl happy. Who needs Christmas presents when you have a half-sleeping dad to climb on in the middle of the hallway?

Clever

Last Friday morning, Clara came in wearing all black. "Wow!" I said. "You're all dressed in black!"

"Yeah," she responded. "It's Black Friday."

I couldn't laugh out loud or her feelings would have been hurt, but this just put a smile on my face the rest of the day.

{I don't know if I could possibly have gotten a worse picture, but my camera died right after this shot, so I decided to post it anyway.}

Thankful for a family visit

We were treated to a visit from Michael's sister, Tabitha, her husband, Tommy, and their two adorable kids, Adam and Hannah, for Thanksgiving last week.

I remembered to snag a quick pic of our "gratitude door" (each leaf had something we were grateful for).

 Thanksgiving morning we played at a fun older park, but the kids--and adults--were all moving around so much I got only a few poor pictures. Adam and Hyrum looked like they were having a blast climbing through all the cubby holes.

 Clara really took to Tommy this trip, which was very sweet. It was not so sweet when she decided to play in freezing cold puddles.

 Waiting for dinner. I think Hannah's pigtails are just about the cutest thing ever.

 The spread. Every time I learn something new. This year, I learned that we will be grilling steaks next year.

 What a handsome family!

 The curse of having an open kitchen/dining area: dishes in the background.

You just can't help but smile when looking at this kid. Boy. Guy. Young man. Whatever.

Birthday boy

My husband turned 33 last week. He still looks ten years younger than that, which I think is a compliment to the good care he has taken of himself lo these many years of marriage.

I forgot to get a picture of all of us together, but I did manage a couple of the candle-blowing.

 I decided to alter a recipe and make an ice cream trifle. It worked pretty well, but next time I will make it with brownies instead of chocolate cake because brownies would be chewier even when frozen.

I absolutely love Clara's face here. Classic.

Happy birthday, darling!

Reminiscing

I am currently putting stamps on our Christmas cards, and I was reminded that we used to actually have to lick each stamp. There are little things like that I don't want to forget.

Do you remember the card catalog at the library? I loved finding the cards and books and then getting them stamped by the librarian at the desk. I miss the stamping and don't like the long receipt you get instead now. I always thought it was fun to see who checked out the book before you and how long ago it was.

Remember rotary phones? They were annoying but cool at the same time. My parents had a flesh-colored one. Classic.

Apple IIe?

Printer paper with the edges you had to tear off?

And how about the wonderful sets of Encyclopedia Brittanica and World Book Encyclopedia? It was so empowering looking through my parents' encyclopedia thinking that I could learn "all there was to know" about kangaroos, or electricity, or World War II. Now with Google and the Internet, the sheer amount of information--not to mention whether it is legitimate or not--is overwhelming.

What about you? What do you remember/miss? Or don't miss?

Recent happenings

So I forget that we have actually done stuff around here until I finally upload my camera pics to the computer.

Is it bad if the quantity of photos you take influences your self-esteem?

 Clara's music teacher held a concert at Barnes and Noble one evening to showcase the songs they've been singing.

I was pretty nervous for Clara--lots of noises, lots of kids, lots of stuff going on. She did so well. She sat there quietly, shook her instrument at the right time, and sang "The Star-Spangled Banner" so sincerely with the rest of the group.

 Clara just finished a free 12-week (?) long course at James Madison University called Project Climb. The senior PE majors take a class where they have to come up with a lesson plan each week for their individual special needs child to help them work on certain skills.

Clara's mentor, Cally, was wonderful for her. She was just the type of person Clara works well with--laid-back, positive, and creative.

 It was hard to take decent pictures in the gym lighting, but they worked on hopping, kicking, throwing, dribbling a ball, and working together with other kids. It was once a week for an hour and I'm glad we took the opportunity.

 As a goodbye present, Cally gave Clara a Disney princess beauty kit. Clara was very intrigued by the press-on nails.

She wasn't thrilled and immediately took them all off.

So then I put them on instead. Apparently I have hands the size of a child's. I kept them on long enough to show Michael when he got home--of course he didn't like them (neither did I!), but I'd always secretly wanted to try those things.


Now back to working on Christmas choir preparations.

Thoughts from a Monday

1. Having to wash our shower means having a shower to wash. It also means we are clean since we use it on occasion.

2. Furniture to dust means we have places to sit and a house to put the furniture in.

3. Feeling overwhelmed about church callings means I am worthy to serve, however imperfectly.

4. Lamenting my disused singing voice means I have a voice to strengthen.

5. Stressing about church choir Christmas music means that a wonderful season is on its way.

6. First grade homework struggles means that my child is (hopefully) learning and growing.

7. An "N" for "needs improvement" for handwriting on a recent progress report means that her handwriting can be counted as such. The fact that Clara wrote the above is nothing short of wonderful and amazing, compared to where she has been. She is making a lot of progress.

(I'm hoping Clara's first sentence wasn't a statement of fact.)

Lesson learned

Clara's school put on a fundraiser a week ago. It reminded me of the "Walk-A-Thon" I did when I was in elementary school, except hers was called the "Fundrun." The premise is the same: get people to pledge money for each lap you run/walk.

I bet you know where this is going.

Since Clara is not a big runner, I asked her how many laps she thought she'd run (fifteen laps is a mile). She told me she'd do six laps, and I thought that was a reasonable goal, so we pledged three dollars a lap. (Quite honestly, I imagined her petering out after the first one. I even talked with the physical therapist at the school to see if she could walk with Clara because I was afraid she would refuse to participate at all without someone next to her.)

The parents were encouraged to come and cheer their kids on, so I dutifully arrived at the school, only to discover that they had moved the run inside the gym because of inclement weather. Picture a child with autism in a loud, echoing, gymnasium filled with one hundred first graders yelling their enthusiasm, a dude in a red cape ("Mr. Awesome" was his name), and pounding, pumping music. I watched Clara at the back, covering her ears. I was impressed that she was managing her discomfort--she didn't remove herself from the situation, but instead stayed and handled it.

The countdown is done and the kids start running. They circle around and around the gym, running through a red inflatable tunnel, and then stopping to get their t-shirts marked off for each lap. She keeps going. And going. And going. She walks sometimes, but she doesn't quit.

Lap 13 or so was a "parent lap," and you can bet I made sure that we took our sweet time getting her t-shirt marked off, letting her give a high-five to Mr. Awesome, etc. Nice and slow.

At lap 18, another teacher (who was trying to be helpful but wasn't at all) freaked her out by grabbing her wrist to direct her somewhere. She started crying, and we walked off the track to take a breather. After getting a drink at the water fountain and resting, she was done.

Eighteen laps. Sure, most of the kids did the maximum (36 laps), but the fact that she did so many was, well, awesome. Her PE teacher, Mrs. Trick, was amazed. Another teacher told me that Clara had stopped to help someone who had fallen which almost made me cry.

Clara was so proud of that t-shirt with the eighteen marks on the back. And even though I had to laugh at my naivete, fifty-one dollars was totally worth seeing my child run her heart out and feel proud of her effort.


Next time, though, I'm sticking with a flat donation.

Halloween: a limerick

There once was a girl on Halloween
Trick-or-treating she had never been
With the weather so cold
And the goodies untold
A happy night was foreseen.

So out in the night the girl went
Her ladybug skirt like a tent
Smiling with perfect grace
At each homeowner's face
With lots of candy home she was sent.

Her mom ate the chocolate with ease
While the child was strangely appeased
With Nerds and with Skittles
(So annoyingly little)
Overall, a night worth the bee's knees.