Can creativity be taught?

Creativity. Its synonyms are ingenuity, genius, imagination, and originality. Those lofty words seem befitting to Michelangelo or Monet, not to the daily mediocrity that we frequently experience. I'm not that creative, you might be saying to yourself.

And yet, I believe there is creativity within each of us, an integral part of what defines us as human beings instead of mere animals. It is obviously a godly trait since God Himself created this beautiful world for us. You can't help but see the wide varieties in flora and fauna, not to mention in each other's faces, to see that the concept of creation is in God perfected.

Most children are creative intuitively--they use objects symbolically, pretending a hairbrush is an airplane. Play-doh, paper, and crayons are merely tools to an end: the creation of something new and unique, that they eagerly display and tell you they made "all by myself!" And it is such a joyful act for them--they relish the experience and eagerly anticipate the next creative adventure. It is an end unto itself. What will I think up next? they might be wondering. Long before she can even write her name, the mind of a little girl is expanding in the act of creation--rearranging her dolls in a careful motherly way or capturing an elaborate fairytale scene on paper.


For Clara, however, and others with similar challenges, the act of creation is not so innate. Any sort of purposeful creation--a tower of blocks, a drawing, even playing "kitchen"--does not come easily for her. She is able to symbolically play, which is a wonderful thing for me to watch (the other day she was using her sunglasses as a telephone and has used her magic wand as a flashlight). However, ideas are like grains of sand that seem to slip through her fingers just as she tries to grasp them. This is part of what it means to be dyspraxic: ideation (coming up with ideas) is difficult. Other times, though, it is like synapses have connected in the night and she is able to do something she couldn't a short time previously (like the other day when she built a tower out of four or five plastic doughnuts).

Do you think that a parent can teach a child to be creative? My gut instinct would be to say no. I can plant ideas in her mind, but that's not really creation, is it? That's imitation. (And I know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but that's not my point.) I find myself buying a mountain of craft supplies--a ream of construction paper, markers, crayons, play-doh, paints, etc.--thinking that I will find a particular medium that she will enjoy and connect with.


When I am discouraged, I have to remind myself that my efforts are not in vain. I might not be able to give her the gift of creativity, but I can give her the gift of opportunity. I can expose her to different things, and I believe that she will find something, someday, that sparks that creativity within her. I don't care about the end result: I need to just tell her schoolteachers outright when they send home the little craft that the kids make that I couldn't care less about the end product. All I want is for her to be (1) learning fine motor skills, and (2) finding joy in the process. Unfortunately, I think crafts are often a chore for her at this point.


Last night, a little three-year-old girl I sometimes babysit said to me, "Look, I drew a potato." (And it really looked like a potato, but again, that's beside the point.) Wow, I thought to myself. What a wonderful day it will be when Clara will draw, build, write--you fill in the blank--something purposefully and have it mean something to her. And most especially, to have her feel a sense of accomplishment after her act of creation.

That will be a day of celebration indeed.

My beef with princesses

Does anyone else have mixed feelings about the whole "princess thing" going on? You see them everywhere. Part of me likes it. As a "grown-up," I confess there is still a part of me that loves the princess marrying her Prince Charming and going to live in the castle happily ever after. Maybe that's why I like books like The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale, or other "princess" stories.

However, I have some issues with the princess thing, most especially, the Disney Princess thing. I have seen most of the Disney animated movies (many several times), and still enjoy some of them.


Cinderella was my favorite as a child--she served her cruel (and ugly) stepsisters and stepmother but still found time to care for others. She deserved a happy ending. But have any of you read Cinder Edna by Ellen Jackson? Now, that's my kind of role model. If you haven't read it, check it out from your library. Cinder Edna is Cinder Ella's practical, ingenious neighbor who doesn't wait for a fairy godmother but learns all sorts of wonderful skills and ends up falling in love with the stuffy prince's younger brother and lives a life much happier and more fulfilled than Cinderella's.


Anyway, getting back to ripping the princesses.

Sleeping Beauty was an idiot because she touched the dumb spindle (and Maleficent was too scary for me--she even says the "h" word in the movie, which I found horrific as a child). Aurora seemed way too spacey for me.

And don't get me started on Ariel--while she had a lovely voice, she was irresponsible and inconsiderate. She defied her father (who, I admit, was overbearing) and nearly ended up killing all of the mermaids because of her selfish wish to be human with Eric. Thank goodness her dad and Eric bailed her out. And I find her attire too revealing.

Belle was pretty awesome and showed true heroism by giving her life to replace her father's. She cared for the Beast and grew to love him despite her fear. She also showed great courage in the face of adversity and stuck to her guns when the social pressure mounted for her to marry Gaston.

Mulan? Pocahontas? They were courageous. That's cool.

Jasmine? Don't get me wrong--if I were the sultan's daughter, I wouldn't have wanted to marry some pompous prince just because of a law. But her wardrobe? Gee, what a great message for young girls. The dress-up clothes they have for the "princesses" are almost as immodest.

Snow White was very sweet to the animals and the dwarfs. But how could she have fallen for the old "poison apple" routine? She was a bit too naive and dainty for me.


So what's the ideal princess for a cynical mom (tongue in cheek) like me?

When I was younger, my dad and I would read stories together. One of my favorites is Frances Hodgson Burnett's A Little Princess. I hope you've read it (and the movie is fabulous, too).

In it, Sara Crewe is sent to a boarding school while her father goes away to war (World War I). She is wealthy, but she still is kind to the other girls, most especially those who are not befriended by the others. She shares her wealth with Becky, the black servant girl. When her father is killed (which really does happen in the book--the movie has a different ending), she loses her wealth and is forced to become a servant herself. Miss Minchin, the headmistress, is very unkind to Sara (no doubt she had a poor childhood herself, though) and in the movie tells Sara, "You'll do well to remember, Sara Crewe, that you are not a princess any longer" when she sends her up to her small, drafty attic bedroom.

Still, even as a servant, Sara shares a bun with an even poorer little girl than herself. She saves food for the little mouse who lives in the attic with her. She is still kind to the other girls. While at first disenchanted with her new reality, she revives her imagination and remembers her father's words, "I believe that you are, and always will be, my little princess." In the movie, Sara stares down Miss Minchin, telling her, "All girls are princesses. Even ones who live in tiny old attics."

And as her wise Maya told her at the beginning of the movie, "All women are princesses. It is our right."

True indeed. We are daughters of a King, our Heavenly Father. If I can help Clara understand that she is truly a princess because she is a spirit daughter of God, then I will feel that the whole "princess" thing is not for naught. However, I would rather have her look to Sara Crewe or Queen Esther than to Snow White for what it really means to be a princess.

So I say, bring on the tiaras and jewels and fancy dress-up clothes, but hopefully as a tool to teach the importance of acting like a princess, of acting like a daughter of God, on the inside. I love the magic of make-believe and think it is an important part of childhood (or adulthood, for that matter), but fairy tales come true only in so far as we choose to act like the princess we verily are in real life.

I'll get off my soap box now.

Spring pics

Today I asked Clara if she would mind getting into a dress to take some pictures by some pretty flowers. She said, "Okay." Pleasantly surprised, I got her dressed and we drove less than a half mile up the road to a beautiful stretch of wildflowers that blooms every year. Last year, we took pics as well. Clara was much more cooperative this year.

It's days like today that make me salivate for a real SLR digital camera. But anything is better than nothing. Anyway, I thought I'd share a few of the better shots.

This isn't a good shot, but I think it's hilarious that the first thing Clara goes for are her favorites: "blowing flowers" and dandelions.

She has a sixth sense for dandelions and can find them practically anywhere--amidst a whole garden of dainty white flowers, she has eyes only for the common dandelion. Of course, in her eyes, the dandelion is the real find.

But she thought the wildflowers were pretty nice, too, and picked me a bouquet, the little sweetpea.

I have mentioned it before, but Clara loves it when we speak in different voices. For this photo shoot, I was Cookie Monster or Zoey, depending on her whim.

One of the few genuine smiles of the shoot. Don't get me wrong--she smiled a lot. But they were like these kinds of smiles.

Clara is wearing last summer's sandals and her toes are hanging off the front of her sandals quite shamelessly. Luckily, the grass was long.




A little piece of Eden.

A rather blustery day

Actually, this day wasn't too blustery, but we still managed to use a light breeze to our advantage and go fly a kite. I have to say that flying a kite is a funny thing: You fight to get the thing up in the air and when you succeed, you feel such a sense of accomplishment. I'll have to remember that when I need a quick confidence booster.

Michael has apparently had professional kite-flying lessons.


The first time I took Clara to fly the kite, she seriously freaked out and started crying. She was afraid of it (I think the erratic movements are what threw her, but who knows).

Needless to say, I was apprehensive about the second go, but as is frequently the case with Clara (and most kids, I imagine), the second exposure is more tolerable.

She still wasn't too sure about it, though.


Now, on a totally different note, when exactly does the "fake smile grimace" become a less frequent appearance in family photos? There seems to be an age when the fake smile (e.g. grimace) appears, so I'm hoping it phases out some time. Right?

There's no shame . . .

. . . in admitting your tub has been dirty for the last year and you didn't even realize it.

You're probably thinking, "Um, that looks incredibly dirty to me. How exactly does that look clean to you?"

Let me explain.

When we moved into our rental home last April, they had just redone the tile around the tub, which was fabulous. However, the tub itself had dark gray stains around the bottom--I have tried bleach and soap scum remover over the past year, but the stains remained stubborn. I just chalked it up to too-harsh chemicals being used in times past, which had worn the porcelain down and allowed the gray metal underneath to appear. Of course, I would still clean it regularly, but it was a depressing, half-hearted effort when I realized that the stains were there to stay.

Then, one day at the gym I saw a commercial for the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The commercial said that the magic eraser would work on soap scum on tubs (which of course the lovely actress wiped away within a millisecond). I had a couple of these lurking in my cleaning bin somewhere, and I thought, "Hmm. The commercials always totally exaggerate, but what the heck, I'll try it."



Wow. It totally worked. Don't get me wrong--there are still some lingering stains, which have probably been there for who knows how long (I'm pretty sure the tub is original to the house, built in 1946) and will remain there indefinitely. It also took considerable elbow grease--my triceps got quite the workout, and I used up three erasers (they disintegrate as you use them, but they'd last for a lot longer on another job besides this tub). However, the product was far more successful than any spray I had tried. AND, it cleaned out some kitchen sink stains beautifully, too.

Just thought I'd share the love.

P.S. I wrote a letter to the company, praising the product and asking if they had any coupons (again, no shame), but they didn't. Of course, they have coupons in the P&G insert in the paper, but I was hoping for a freebie. Hey, it worked when I wrote into OFF! (I got a coupon for a free bottle of insect spray).

Quite the shock

Today when I went to pick up Michael from school, I was enormously surprised to see a new smile on his handsome face.


That's right--no more braces! Michael has had these braces for two and a half years now, so we are all thrilled to have them off. He had told me that his "de-bond" date was for March, so I was very surprised to see him without them today. Quite frankly, the shot above (yes, he's brushing Clara's teeth) doesn't do his teeth justice. They look fabulous. Now he has the smile to match his future profession.

Clara's immediate reaction to Daddy's new smile: "Big teeth!"

V-day at our place

(We celebrated last night due to an obligation tonight.)

I don't know if I'm alone in thinking that Valentine's Day is a rather silly, superfluous holiday. As my fabulous husband so aptly put it the other day, "Every day is Valentine's Day!"

Don't get me wrong, it's fun to be romantic, but I think all the pressure is just ridiculous, especially for the boys. Still, Michael and I carry on a tradition we've had since marriage, and the tradition is what makes the day meaningful . . . not the whole "today-is-the-one-day-out-of-the-year-that-I'm-going-to-tell-my-sweetheart-that-I-love-her-by-buying-her-a-diamond-necklace-from-Zales-and-if-I-don't-do-something-amazing-I'm-going-to-be-in-the-doghouse" concept.

Every year, Michael makes a heart-shaped pizza. He has become a master.

Anticipation is an understatement.

Holy guacamole.

Our Valentine's Day preferred beverage: chocolate milk (not the wimpy chocolate syrup in skim . . . I'm talking the store-bought half gallon that tastes like heaven in a jug).

Do you see the yummy cheese inside the crust? It could stretch a mile . . . and it did, right down into our stomachs and through the 25 feet of our intestines. (Just thought I'd end on a disgusting, yet fascinating scientific fact.)

It doesn't get any better than this.

Slow

(Sorry, folks, I'm waxing thoughtful and verbose tonight. Hope you can bear with me.)

In a contemplative moment tonight, I have been thinking about the concept of slowness. Today I was talking to an acquaintance from church about Clara, and she mentioned she has a grandson with autism. In continuing our conversation, I asked her if she was aware that Clara had developmental challenges, possibly Asperger's or something along those lines. She said, "Well, I knew she was slow like [another of her grandchildren]." I didn't think anything of it until later and thought that it was interesting that I wasn't offended by her saying that Clara was "slow." I know that I've heard through the years someone being described as "slow" as a derogatory remark, often associated with someone being retarded or something like that. But it does describe Clara because it's true.

For the record, Clara is slow. She walks slowly, she runs slowly, she thinks more slowly, she answers questions more slowly (typically), and nearly everything takes longer for her, particularly anything involving motor planning and learning new skills. When she was younger, I frequently carried her because it took for-ev-er to just walk out to the car from the house, partly because she is easily distracted, and partly because she is just slow. I'm not saying she's not intelligent; she's very intelligent. I'm just saying her movements and thought processes tend to be slow. (I'm not going to go in to all the reasons here for her slowness.)

This year I have been trying to make a concerted effort to not carry her as much and to allow her to do things on her own, like getting dressed, for example. This has been difficult for me, because I am not slow. I like to hurry. I like to do things fast. I can talk fast, sometimes so fast that I'll start too many thought threads and then have to back up to finish them one at a time. In so many ways, I'm the opposite of Clara. I like to read books so fast I skim just to get to the end--even (and especially) if it's a book I love. Clara likes to read books over and over and over again. Michael and I talk about how we need to slow down when we eat--it's like we're in a race against the clock and the food will disappear from our plates if we don't consume it in 90 seconds flat. Clara is not too slow when it comes to eating--perhaps that comes from me. I like to get things done--do do do do do. Check it off my list. Check check check check . . . ahhh, I feel my day has been productive.

A quote from Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin has really stuck with me:

"Sometimes we feel that the busier we are, the more important we are--as though our busyness defines our worth. Brothers and sisters, we can spend a lifetime whirling about at a feverish pace, checking off list after list of things that in the end really don't matter.

That we do a lot may not be so important. That we focus the energy of our minds, our hearts, and our souls on those things of eternal significance--that is essential" (emphasis added).

And in Julie B. Beck's talk, she says, "Mothers who know do less." Why is it that I think that getting stuff done = high worth, or being in a hurry = being important or productive? A wonderful talk was given in church on Sunday about patience. The speaker commented, "Heavenly Father is never in a hurry." Indeed, Acts 10:38 records that Jesus Christ "went about doing good," but do you think he ran through the streets, touching all who needed his healing power and scurrying around trying to do all that he could? The idea seems even irreverent. No, he walked among the people. He spent time with them. He helped those who needed it as he went along. And Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that "to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven."

The poem I quoted a year ago still sticks with me. We live in Holland over at our house. At least, Clara does. Sometimes I think I've still got my bags packed, waiting impatiently for the next plane to take us out of Holland and to glamorous Italy where most moms I know have gone.


But what exactly is so bad about being slow? In fact, there are innumerable things that are done more effectively if they are done slowly, like eating. Or lifting weights. Or speaking. Or driving (within reason). Or studying the scriptures. Or praying. Or breathing, for goodness' sake. I'm not saying there aren't benefits to being quick or fast, because sure, you've got to build those fast-twitch muscle fibers. Watching a slow basketball game would certainly take some of the interest out of it. And yes, taking a fast shower (which I do, to which my roommates can attest) saves water.

But I guess much of our culture and society isn't wired to the way of slowness--an employee can't even bag groceries slowly or people (myself included) get impatient. It seems unfortunate to me that so much of school is timed--"Okay, class, time's up, hand in your papers." For me, I reveled in the challenge of the time limit; the anxiety and stress were just impetuses (impeti?) to strive for greater academic greatness. I'm hoping Clara will get to use the "special ed" card and take her tests more slowly in school. I'm hoping she can find a job that will allow her to be more methodical and deliberate in her thinking.


I'm hoping I can learn to be more like Clara.

And you know what? I know how I can do it: preparation.

You might know that scripture, "If ye are prepared ye shall not fear." If I'm prepared in the morning, I won't be rushing Clara to get dressed. If I'm prepared for dinner, I won't be rushing Clara out the door to get Michael from school. If I'm prepared for the tasks of the day, I will live in the moment and enjoy Clara, instead of waiting impatiently for the art project to be done so we can do something else. Check check check.

Don't get me wrong--I think there is a place for speed. But the wise old tortoise was right:

Slow and steady wins the race.

An observation

Usually my hair looks like this.

If Clara's been driving me nuts, it might look like this.

About once every three years, it looks like this.

And if I'm really, really lucky, once a decade it'll look like this.

This weekend I got to sing with some of the members of the choir I sing with at an elegant, expensive fundraiser dinner. We sang songs from the 20s through the 50s--some of my favorite music, and it was a blast. The memory will last for a long time. Too bad the hair won't.

(In answer to your unasked question, it took about three hours for me to do it. Clara was very patient that day and watched too many shows.)

A compilation

You all rock! Thanks for the fabulous children's music suggestions. Since I thought you might appreciate them as well, here's a compilation of all of your ideas, as well as mine:

• Elizabeth Mitchell's "You are My Little Bird" and "You are My Little Flower"--folksy and calming
• "Jazz for Kids: Sing, Clap, Wiggle and Shake"--includes two songs from Ella Fitzgerald and one from Louis Armstrong
• Brite Music (I totally grew up with this--thanks for the reminder, Sheree--Clara loves listening to my "Safety Kids" tape)
• Susie Tallman--nursery rhymes, classic children's song
• Fisher Price's Little People Music--includes old favorites like "Mares Eat Oats" and great new ones "The Shoe Toe Tango" and "Traffic Lights"
• Backyardigans
• Primary Colors by Inside Out
• "Here come the ABC's" by They Might Be Giants
• "Family Tree" by Tom Chapin
  
• Disney and Muppet compilations--especially 25th anniversary Muppets
• Music Together--I have the "Bongos" and the "Sticks" compilations
• Teach Me Mommy--I need to do a post entirely about this, my mom's book, but she also has a great CD to go with the book
  
• Miss Abrams And The Strawberry Point 4th Grade Class (free downloads my dad found on emusic.com)
• "Snacktime" by BNL
  

Woohoo! I am so excited to try these out. I'm going to see if my library system has any of them (??) that I can get through inter-library loan, and we'll go from there.

Thanks for all your input. I now feel empowered to more fully broaden our musical horizons.

Step back in time . . .

. . . to the eighties, baby. Check it out.



You've gotta admit, it does have a good beat. Clara loved rockin' out to this sweet cassette from 1987 entitled "Fun-A-Rooey." Yes, it was produced for small children. My parents gave it to me awhile back. Did you realize that children's music changes as the mainstream music does? Obvious, I guess, but I find it somewhat disconcerting.

The reason for the time travel is because I am seriously in need of some new music for Clara. I am a huge fan of the music compilations by a company called Music Together, which I think is waaaayyy better than Kindermusik. I have two of their CDs, but they're a bit pricey. I also have a Laurie Berkner band CD--her music for kids is very fun and upbeat. My brother suggested a CD by BNL called "Snacktime." In addition, we have some other nursery rhyme CDs and a fun but quirky set by some Australian company.

The music we have is all great, but when you know what the next track is going to be and can start singing it in the right key, you know you've heard it too many times.

I loved all of your book suggestions when I was in dire straits--now I am asking you for your ideas again: What music do your kids like to listen to? (And I already have the Primary Children's Songbook CDs, but that doesn't count--I'm talking about fun, dancing music.)

I'm thinking that burning a CD of some New Kids on the Block hits might just do the job.