2015 in review

2015 was a great year. The highlight of the year was the birth of Henry. It is very nice writing this looking back on a year ago at this point--I am glad not to be morning sick any more! My personal theme for 2015 was to "Be of Good Courage." I felt like I have improved on this by just being more mindful of it, especially as I approached Henry's birth and being able to give birth naturally. I continue to look back with great gratitude and awe on that experience and the closeness that Michael and I felt as we worked together. I feel empowered knowing that courage is not the absence of fear but simply the choice to continue doing something you know is right even though you are scared. (I'm not talking about giving birth naturally--that's not a "right" or "wrong" choice--I had great epidural births with Clara and Robbie!) Motherhood requires a lot of courage for me. I have so many fears that I will do something wrong or that my children will make choices that lead them away from the Savior and His gospel. I have finally come to terms with the fact that the Lord will not force my children to follow Him and that I cannot force them either. However, if I do all I can to provide them opportunities to feel, recognize, and follow the Spirit, and do my utmost to live the gospel myself with Michael, and try to teach them correct principles while also enforcing consequences when they make a poor choice (while also recognizing that some decisions are not yet choices given to them, like going to church, dressing modestly, etc.), then that will be enough, and the Savior stands ready to draw near unto them after any effort they make to follow Him. I cannot convert them, only the Holy Ghost can. It is incredible to me that Heavenly Father respects agency so much that He is willing to lose His children who don't choose to follow Him. But I can also understand--who wants someone to be with them who is forced to be there?

It has been rewarding this year to see each of my children grow. Henry, of course, is super fun to watch and enjoy. He just started army crawling yesterday and can get up on his knees. Wow. Solids are still an adventure. Robbie is learning and growing all the time--watching him begin building with Legos is pretty awesome--and says the funniest things sometimes. Like the other day in the car, Henry was hiccuping and Robbie was laughing. I asked him, "What are you laughing at?" He responded. "At Henry. He's hicking up." Clara has really been maturing at school and her teachers have been impressed. The fact that she participated in the school spelling bee and in her school chorus concert as well as giving a prayer in Primary are some examples of her own courage and maturity. I have also been touched at the times she has helped and shared with Robbie, and she is very sweet with Henry. I am surprised that the hardest part of parenting for me at this point is the sibling challenges--knowing when to intervene, when to ignore, etc. The issue of agency is also a challenge as well as personal accountability and the effort to help with independence but also get things done properly or quickly (hair washing for Clara, getting socks on for Robbie, for example).

I am continuing to struggle with the balance of personal, marriage, children, Church, and home duties. I guess it's a lifelong effort to learn to prioritize. I let go of taking voice lessons in 2014 when I became pregnant, and I hate that my singing (not that it was that stellar beforehand) is fallen into disuse and is rusty. Piano as well--I want to play more on Sundays. However, I feel that I must be very careful about what I involve myself and my family in and do not want to do too much. Hopefully there will be a future time for that again.

I am excited for my goals for the New Year. I always have so much to work on, but this year I received the idea/inspiration to set a goal for each of the important relationships in my life--a goal for my relationship with the Savior, with Michael, with each of my children, and with myself (two goals for myself). I hope and pray that I will be better at the end of 2016 than I am now at the end of 2015.

Clara and the Spelling Bee

Clara is a great speller. She rarely misses words on her spelling tests, and it comes pretty naturally to her. So when her teacher told me she had qualified to represent her class in the school spelling bee, I wasn't surprised. I was surprised, however, that Clara wanted to participate. She has been getting braver and braver at these sorts of things over the past year or so, but she hasn't even wanted to participate in the Sacrament meeting program for the past five years or so.

Her teacher, Mrs. Morris (love her!), got permission from the county to sit up with Clara on the stage. She also went up to the microphone with her each time, but Clara spoke into the mike to spell her word. For the practice round, Mrs. Morris introduced Clara for her and then Clara spelled the word "cough" correctly (I was so nervous for her). She had a teddy bear from Mrs. Morris on the practice round, but she didn't bring it up on subsequent rounds. She made it to the fourth round, spelling words like "watchdog" and "bonkers," and then getting out on the word "tropical." I was so incredibly proud of her courage to get up there and do it. It was awesome and made me want to cry. She overcame a big fear and did a hard thing.

 She got to come and sit on my lap while we waited for the Bee to finish. Lots of people congratulated her. The counselor, Ms. Kratz, had also helped a lot by letting Clara hold a fidget toy and talking to her with the other contestants the day before.

Mrs. Morris even sent her an encouraging video via text to my phone and painted Clara's nails that morning to help her be calm. And it was a fun coincidence that they were both wearing red that day.

Clara even got up for the group picture at the end, which she hadn't wanted to do.

Way to go, kiddo!!!

Solid food

I started introducing Henry to solid foods this past week in honor of his turning six months old (!). Previously, he has enjoyed sucking on apple slices (under watchful care--both mine and Robbie, who informs me, "Don't give him that; he'll choke!") and bell pepper slices, and I thought he would be super excited about eating solid food.

 Hi there, big brother. What's going to happen to me? I'm a little concerned.

Oh boy! A spoon with something orange on it! Gimme gimme gimme!

 Uh, Mom? What exactly was that?

This ain't no mama's milk.

 I thought you said these potatoes were sweet.

 Do I have to?

Thanks, I'm done now.

Poor guy! It was my fault for feeding him too soon after a nursing. He has tried a little banana and some applesauce. He'll get the hang of it in no time.

Our Thanksgiving adventure: part 2

After Joseph and Jenna's sealing, we headed back to Provo and went out to eat in honor of Michael's birthday with Heather, Bryan, and Emily at Shoots, a Chinese restaurant.

It is always so great to be with my siblings!! It made me envy these guys living so close to each other now. 

 My nieces and nephews were so sweet with my kids. Here is cousin Elizabeth (nearly 18) with Henry.

Beautiful people, inside and out.

 After church, Bryan and Emily came over and played.

 All the kids wanted to hold Henry, and fortunately he is at a very obliging, happy age.

 Playing a card game.

 Me and my big sis. I forgot to mention that she made her amazing scones with honey butter that morning for breakfast. And lunch. Holy yum.

I was thrilled that Clara and Robbie shared a room together at Heather's house without quarreling. I think it helped that they were both so tired from being on Virginia time. On Monday morning, we tried to get out of Heather's family's hair (they had school and work) in a timely manner but they were very gracious despite our crazyness.

We headed down to Williams, Arizona, but on our way we took a detour past our old home on 57 S. 500 E. We also saw our old apartment buildings (crazy how old and decrepit they are but still going strong!) and also saw the Provo City temple, pictured behind Michael here.

On our way down, we stopped at a gas station and who should we run into but Bryan and Emily and their kids! That was pretty crazy. We knew they were driving down to Bryce to see Emily's sister but how awesome that we stopped at the same gas station. We also stopped a little later to change the worst blow-out I've yet to witness. Henry's mustardy poop was literally running down his leg and making a puddle on the asphalt after I took him out of his car seat. We used about twenty wipes and then kept on going. Robbie and Henry slept (hooray!!!) and then we stopped at the Navajo Bridge.

 It is an incredible feat of engineering.

 Looks pretty fake, but the distance of 467 feet high was very real. And scary as I hovered over my kiddos.

We arrived at the Grand Canyon Railroad Hotel in Williams after about 9 or 10 hours.

The next morning, we climbed aboard the Grand Canyon Railroad to ride to the Grand Canyon. It was a fairly slow (faster than running but slower than driving), scenic ride. Robbie asked, "When are we going to go faster?" Sorry kiddo, this is a diesel train, not a bullet train.

 Henry was such a trooper with his naps being mostly on the road. At least he got to stretch out a little when Michael and Robbie went to get a snack.

 Of course they charm you into purchasing photos that they take of you. If they hadn't been so cute, we wouldn't have gotten them, but this just pretty much captured our experience.

 Hanging out on the train. It was great having more leg room (notice Michael's feet, which actually each have a left and right sock).

 Pictures cannot do it justice. Another heart-in-throat moment for us, especially after Michael was informed by someone there that someone died just two days previously taking a selfie by the edge.

Fortunately, we arrived back to our hotel safely, and Michael and the kids enjoyed some swimming the next morning before we traveled the 2.5 hours to Mesa to our final hotel and destination.

That night, we went to a park and saw some of Michael's extended family, including his grandparents, whom I had not seen in ten years.

 Clara was very excited to see her great-grandpa Stout! I was impressed at how well she did with meeting all these people and being patient while we talked to cousins.

The next day, we went to the Thanksgiving Stout family feast. I felt bad that Michael didn't get to talk to everyone he wanted to, but we enjoyed it and were glad we were there.

They took some official pictures, but unfortunately the only candid I got was this one of Henry grabbing Grandma.

 Three lovely girls--Clara with Melody and new aunt, Marissa (who is expecting a baby next year!).

Michael and I enjoyed some time with Hyrum and Melody, who came back with us to our hotel and went swimming with Michael and the kids that night. The next morning, we hurried to the airport but were dismayed that the return rental place was about ten minutes past the airport (we had to take a shuttle back) and then saw that the TSA line was ridiculously, insanely long. We ran to our gate and missed it our flight--our nonstop, great timing flight--by two minutes. It was super frustrating that our airplane was still right there but they wouldn't let us on because the door was closed.

However, we tried to make the best of the four hours we had to wait in the airport (The kids and I rode the moving sidewalks a LOT and saw lots of planes take off while Michael stayed with our luggage) and made some family memories. Tender mercies: We didn't lose any luggage, we made our connecting flight, people moved seats so we could be by each other, our screens (for the kids to watch movies) didn't run out of juice, we didn't have any blowouts on the planes with my last two diapers, and Michael and I had a great talk at 2:00am on our way home. We arrived at our home in Harrisonburg at nearly 3:00am on Saturday morning. Wow.

All in all, the kids did really well with all the change and crazyness (Robbie had a few meltdowns), and we were glad we made the trip. Thanks to everyone for making it happen. Happy Thanksgiving!!


P.S. I'd like to have a moment of silence for the nap that I missed in honor of updating the blog. Amen.

Our Thanksgiving adventure: part 1

I kept reminding myself before, during, and after that "This is not a vacation; this is a trip. This is not a vacation; this is an adventure." And with that definition in mind, it was certainly a great trip.

It began in advance with us purchasing tickets back in June for Michael's grandmother's birthday celebration/reunion in Mesa at Thanksgiving. However, a month or two later, Michael's brother announced that he was going to be married in Salt Lake the weekend before Thanksgiving. Mercifully, due to the purchase of USAirways by American Airlines, Michael was able to get our tickets canceled without having to pay any fees and then to purchase entirely new tickets.

We prepped the kids at FHE the Monday before to remind them of the route. Robbie had been talking about being able to ride the train at the Grand Canyon for months beforehand. Michael drew a sweet map. I researched suggestions for traveling with kids.

We drove the 2.5 hours to the Baltimore airport (so much cheaper) and made it on as the last passengers. Clara was more comfortable going through TSA security this time since she'd flown last year (when we went to Disney with her), but she was still stressed and informed me in the days preceding our flight, "I will punch those TSA agents in the face! I hate those TSA agents!" Fortunately, she didn't (although she did blow raspberries at one :-/)).

 Preparing for take-off!! We were all excited.

We arrived in SLC and then drove down to my sister Heather's house. I was so happy to see her and her beautiful kids. They were so nice to host us.

The next morning, we attended the wedding brunch of Joseph (Michael's brother) and his fiancee, Jenna Howard. And look who we saw there?!

 Elder Weiler is home! It was so great to see Hyrum. He looked just the same except a little more filled out and slightly taller. Clara and Robbie were very excited to see him. Clara had written on every calendar in our house the day that Hyrum was arriving home to Georgia.

 Joseph and Jenna were very sweet with Robbie. Shannyn (sister-in-law) did an awesome job with the food and decor. So lovely.

After the brunch, we stopped for a short visit at BYU. Clara wanted to see Studio C but we didn't have time, sadly. But we did get to go to the Bookstore and get a few things.

 Posing with Cosmo the Cougar. And some cut-outs for the upcoming Star Wars movie.

 I also had to show them my first job at the Information Center in the Wilk. (My first job was actually selling tickets at the Varsity, but then they moved me to the information desk.)

We hurried up to SLC and stopped briefly outside the temple (after Robbie ran across a street in City Creek park and missed getting hit by a car. Not my favorite memory).

The reflecting pool is always so lovely. For some reason I was thinking the sealing was an hour later, and I still had to nurse Henry, so unfortunately I missed the sealing. Sniff. But I enjoyed hanging out in the youth room with other family members. Melody was great to help with the kids.

 Clara loves holding Henry, and he loves eating chins.

 In the waiting room, Henry spent some quality time with his closest cousin, William (son of Michael's sister Bethany). Future roommates?

 We then went outside (brrr) and waited for the bride and groom to arrive. Robbie loved hanging out with his cousin Clark. Clark was super sweet with him.

 Uncle Seth is awesome!

 Hiding in an alcove.

 There they are!! Beautiful and happy.

 Robbie had to get a hug before the real pictures began.

 Here Michael is showing a slo-mo video of Henry crying. Apparently they thought it was pretty funny. Not me.

 And again, Robbie has to go say hi to Uncle Hyrum in the middle of pictures.

Can't believe these brothers are all grown up, ranging in age from 20 to 37.

Being brothers, they of course had to make fun of Joseph and Hyrum's behavior when the first brothers got married years ago--shirts tucked out for pictures and watching the kissing with interest.

Thirty-seven

Before we left for our big Thanksgiving trip, we celebrated Michael's birthday. He looks pretty awesome for being so old (haha) I have to say.

 Brownies are his favorite. Apparently they are Henry's favorite, too.

At Heather's house over Thanksgiving, she made brownies in his honor as well. Lucky guy!

I won't bore my (three) readers with how great he is, but pretty much I can sum it up by saying that Michael is the same now as he was when we were dating: He accepts and loves me the way I am and yet inspires me to become better. For that I am truly thankful.