2017 Couple Getaway

Michael and I enjoyed our annual getaway closer to home this year--we drove to Luray, which is about 45 minutes north.

On Monday, we hiked to Kennedy Peak, which was a little over five miles and was beautiful.

 The fall colors were late this year in the Valley but absolutely lovely when we were up there.

 At the fire tower.

 Monday evening we enjoyed a delicious meal at the Gathering Grounds--the pie was amazing.

 The next morning, we woke early and drove to the base of Old Rag, which was a challenging (to me!) 9+ hike in Shenandoah National Park. At the base, it was misty.

 Then we began to hike above the clouds.

But the mist clung to Michael's backside! Hahaha!

 It was pretty precarious as the rock scramble continued.

 How on earth is that rock balanced there??

 Onward and upward.

 The view from the top was beautiful. I was mostly so proud of myself for accomplishing the challenge.

We enjoyed traveling this path as we finished the hike.

I think we ate out again at the Gathering Grounds that evening (not a lot of options in Luray!), enjoyed watching Return to Me, which I hadn't seen in years, having a couple council/planning meeting, swimming in the hotel hot tub and jumping into the frigid pool, and overall just enjoying each other's company. It was a fun getaway despite the stresses that awaited as at home with the office remodel. We were so grateful for Michael's parents watching the kids so we could have some time away. Such a blessing.

A visit from Grandma, Grandpa, and Melody

We were so happy that Michael's parents and Melody could come visit us before Melody left on her mission in Ukraine. Grandma was so helpful around the house with chores and Melody was so kind with the boys and Clara, reading loads of Harry Potter to Clara, keeping Henry entertained, and just being awesome overall.

Grandpa (and everyone, but especially Grandpa) spent HOURS helping Michael with his ceiling project for the office. We surely feel blessed to have such supportive and faithful parents.

We didn't do anything really epic with them--mostly just hung around the house while they worked on Michael's ceiling project (more pics on on that to come), but we did have some fun, too.

 Michael's parents are big bicyclists (riding about 15 miles each day), so we wanted to go on a bike ride with them. Robbie did well on his bike, and Henry enjoyed being in his seat on mine (although he got tired of it after about twenty minutes).

 I tried to get a good picture of Grandma and Grandpa on their tandem bike but failed. Grandma actually reads a book in the back while Grandpa sits in front. This blows my mind, even more so after Michael and I tried out the tandem going around the park briefly. Super challenging being in the back as you feel helpless to do anything!

 Henry told Michael, "I ride bike now!" He had also gotten on Robbie's bike in the garage earlier and was telling Grandma who was holding it steady, "Let go! Let go!"

 We enjoyed some dinner al fresco on Friday evening--the weather has been lovely.

 Devotional and dessert by the fire pit.

 Robbie got an ear infection (the boys had gotten colds) and Grandma distracted Robbie by writing the alphabet on his back, having him guess what the letters were, which he really enjoyed.

 On Saturday afternoon, we went to the North River Pumpkin Patch--super fun and well done.

 Of course Henry had to sit on one.

 None of us had ever done a corn maze before--it was really fun, although the kids lost interest after about twenty minutes (again). We didn't do the whole thing--it would be a fun double date where you race to get all the clues, etc.

 Melody is such a kind aunt to Clara.

 She even helped her with her math homework on Thursday.

 We had fun helping Grandma celebrate her birthday with an apple pie (that she made herself while Michael and I were on our getaway--more on that in a different post) and going out to Outback Steakhouse.

We were so grateful for their visit!

A Mama-Cycle: a poem by Brittany Weiler

Her back is set and knees are up,
Her rider climbs aboard,
He presses her knee and turns the key
And the engine starts to roar.

She rumbles over gravel
Taking turns too sharp to see
She flies up high and pops a wheel
As her rider laughs with glee.

With a boy upon her knees
They go most anywhere
They fly o'er hills and over dales
Until her knees crash down.

A mama-cycle goes for miles
From morning until night
Ofttimes she is awakened
Before dawn's first early light.

Her fuel is often healthy
But sometimes furtive, sneaking treats
A mama-cycle knows her riders
Always want whate'er she eats.

She keeps her bike in shape
With early workouts, sometimes plodding
And while her shape has changed o'er time
She hopes her engine is applauding.

Training riders is exhausting
Discouraging at times
They seem to never want to drive
But just demand air-time.

But a mama-cycle never wavers
She persists in pressing on
She knows her riders leave her
Too soon and then they're gone.

Can she teach them all they need
To navigate the road
To avoid the rocks and ditches
As they bear their heavy loads?

A mama's engine must be strong
Many fears she must allay
To fear the road is to miss the joy
Of the sights along the way.

So on the road of life she flies
Her man with his own ride
Helping guide their riders
As they travel side by side.

And as she looks around her
She sees the sky and trees
And looks up at her rider
Nothing more important does she see.

So she decides, "No need to rush,
No need to run or flee.
I'll stay awhile and enjoy the ride
This bike has grown on me."

Fall camping trip

Every fall I like to go on a camping trip. I also like to go in the spring, but the fall is the best because the bugs are fewer and the leaves are gorgeous. I love where we live. This year, we opted to go to northern Virginia to camp because we were (well, Michael) going to go to a sealing of a couple in our ward afterwards the following morning.



We packed up and headed out. When we arrived at what the GPS said was our intended campsite, however, we were unimpressed with the run-down trailers, a derelict motel, and a few RVs that were scattered on the property (I am still not sure we were at the right place--the reviews had been good!).

It was a cloudy day but not too cold.

So, we headed to the nearby Sky Meadows State Park which we had also looked into previously. The sites there were primitive (no running water or bathrooms), and we had to hike in a mile.

Instead of going through all of our stuff to only bring what we truly needed, we loaded it all up into the wagon we had brought as well as the large wheelbarrow that we rented on-site. Michael truly earns the award for best attitude and strongest muscles. I was hesitant but went ahead, and the kids made it despite some weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth.

Pull, Henry, pull!

I kept thinking about the pioneers as I dragged the heavy wagon over tree roots, mud, and bumpy rocks while trying to encourage the kids. Wow.

Our campsite, however, was terrific, and we got all set up before the sun went down, which is always nice. The baby potty we had brought (not only for Henry but for all who needed it) was popular. We had hobo dinners that I had prepped previously--I had cooked the potatoes in advance; next time I'll cook the carrots in advance as well.

The favorite part of the night for the kids was probably the lanterns and flashlights and making s'mores. Michael's and my favorite part was putting the kids down in the tent (despite their unwillingness to go to bed, especially Henry who was totally wired and loving life--we could hear him going over to Clara and Robbie and trying to chat with them in the tent while they were trying to go to sleep) and sitting by the fire, whispering quietly and watching the flames.

The night was fitful, as usual, but we made it safely through.

 In the morning, Clara and I hung out while Michael took the boys and a load out to the car. They hurried back for some quick hot cocoa before we broke camp in record time and headed out.

 Bookin' the mile back to the car. Despite our rush, we unfortunately missed the sealing because the time had been changed. Michael go to do some initiatories, though, and the kids did well as we walked around the visitor's center and around the temple.

All in all, the adventure was a success and good memories were made. One of these times we're going to set up camp for two nights so it feels worth all the work. :-)

Clara Love lately

Amidst all my travelogue posts, I wanted to include some of my thoughts on life now. My yearly personal theme for 2017 is "Be Thankful." In that effort, I have been keeping a daily journal each night, writing a few lines about the day and things I am grateful for. One thing that has impressed me is that no matter how difficult the day was, there is always something I can find to be grateful for. Clara is a person I am definitely thankful for but who also causes me the most grief! :-)

"How is Clara?" friends or family ask me occasionally. As my firstborn and the one with "special needs," she in general has been my most challenging child (although the boys might be in first place by the time they're out of the house). She has made it through sixth grade without too much agony, although we did change her from her normal classroom routine with an aide in class to a more supported environment with a smaller class that stays for half the class period (or less) and then comes back to the resource room for more instruction. She has been more confident in this environment, but it hasn't been challenging enough for her academically (according to the teacher). It's such a tricky balance--the smaller class reduces anxiety, but the regular gen ed classroom gives her more intellectual challenge and pushes her more. As a mother, it is hard to know what choice is right. As of right now, we're going to switch back to the general education classroom for seventh grade in the hopes that she has gained a boost of confidence this past quarter that will carry over. We'll see how it goes.

Clara really enjoys helping in the multiple disabilities classroom at school.

How does autism and ADHD look these days in Clara? Well, no longer does Clara perpetually seek "umbrellas" (objects with a stick and a top on it, like an umbrella or a lollipop, etc.), and she no longer asks dozens of times a day for us to be a particular character or voice. She doesn't act out in school that much, and she loves her special ed teachers. For this I am truly grateful. She also is able to navigate the halls of a large school as well as a locker (she uses a lock with a key instead of a combination lock) and I have been very impressed to find her working on her homework after school without my forcing her to sit down to begin. She has learned to make her bed and does a relatively good job cleaning the bathroom counter and sinks. She tolerates taking her ADHD medication and doesn't generally fight me about it. The other day, she even successfully made a phone call to a store to find out if they carried fidget spinners and how much they cost (she had to save up for one). Her teacher just last week sent me a picture of Clara reading to the more severely disabled kids at school. (Doing anything in public--even at home in front of the family--is a dreaded occurrence for her.). That was awesome.

On the flip side, there are still a lot of the same challenges that we've dealt with for years with little improvement. The other day I read a blog post rough draft from nearly three years ago that sounded very similar to struggles we face today. That was a bummer. She still fixates on things--why did I think that would go away?--and has physical habits that are frustrating. There is always something she is doing that obviously fills a sensory need but that isn't good. It used to be sucking on her upper lip, which she fortunately doesn't do anymore. Now it's twirling her hair, causing pieces of it to break off and look like a thick wad of bangs on one side of her head.  Or it's picking at a small sore/scratch until it is triple in size and bleeding (I paid her a dollar the other day if she would just keep the bandaid on it without taking it off--she hates bandaids--and she did! The wound finally started healing.).

Her sensory needs have become more pronounced than when she was younger--she prefers to wear two pairs of socks and have her shoes very tight on her feet--I've noticed her big toe is already bending in. On the plus side, she recently allowed a shoe salesman to measure her feet and we successfully purchased new shoes without too huge of an outburst in the store. Clara wants to have her ponytail super tight as well and has taken to using at least five to eight hairbands on her ponytail at once. They break frequently. But hey, at least she is able to put her own hair in a ponytail!

Autism commonly includes not understanding the other person's perspective, but dang it, this is so frustrating. She lacks the self-awareness to realize what she is feeling and the words to be able to express those feelings, so she often lashes out in physical ways--hitting, pulling hair (mine as well as her brothers'), etc. I remember thinking when she was a preschooler that this wouldn't last forever (as people try to comfort you when you're potty training, etc.), so it's been discouraging to think, well, it's still going on with a twelve-year-old. And because she often can't be reasoned with logically, I am sometimes completely at a loss to help her understand that just because she doesn't want to do something doesn't mean she doesn't have to do it. Like go to church (today, for example, which was a terrible day). Or brush your hair. Or take a shower. So after trying positive motivators, like, "Clara, as soon as you get your work done you can have screen time!" I sometimes resort to, "Clara, if you don't go do [x y or z] by the time I count to 3, then you will lose all your books." That is the best and worst punishment to give her. And I hate doing it. (Had to do it today.) I take away screen time; I inform her that she has an early bedtime; I remove all the privileges I can think of. I try to motivate in positive ways--we have a penny chart where she and Robbie get pennies "moved" for kind and obedient choices--and constantly am trying to look for the good and praise her for the good choices she is making. She struggles with positive self-esteem, and even when she's being a serious turd and I feel so angry with her stubborn, willful, unteachable behavior. I remind her that next time we can make a good choice, and that she does make lots of good choices.

Hygiene continues to be a big issue--toileting is still not done well; she still can't wash her own hair; she isn't sensitive to various smells coming from underwear that needs to be changed and is unfazed when she passes gas in public. Lately she's had these terrible stomach issues that probably don't need to be described in detail for those with a delicate constitution. I have been keeping track to to try to figure out a pattern.

Clara also has some sort of fixation on the amounts of things. She wants to use gobs of ketchup and dressing and syrup (I mean, tons). She has plugged up our toilet so many times with the huge balls of toilet paper she uses. She squeezes tons of body wash into the bathtub for bubbles (I'm talking half a bottle or more) and perpetually feels the need to "finish off" the container--like if there's some Life in the box, to pour it all out into the bowl even if it is way too full. Same with milk. So much wasted milk and cereal at our house. When I intervene with her pouring/squeezing/wiping, she yells that I am being stingy. Sometimes it's not always worth the battle.
THIS WAS POSTED IN 2017, MOM! HOPE YOU FEEL PROUD OF ME HAHA! ;)