What we've been up to

Michael was out of town for nine days on a man trip out to Oregon with four of his brothers and his dad, and we tried to keep busy in his absence. The evenings and mornings were pretty boring without wrestling and gorilla running, but at least the kids were clean (mostly) and fed (albeit not nearly so well as they are when Michael is home).

 There was quite a bit of indoor riding. Backward helmet optional.

Clara enjoyed commandeering one of Robbie's riding toys occasionally.

 The back yard vegetable beds were prepped . . .

. . . and planted. We'll see what lasts and hope the deer/bugs don't glut themselves on our labors.

Lots of food was eaten. 

I insist that Robbie eats hummus with some sort of dipping utensil. I gave him a spoon, but he really just wants to use his fingers. He did the same thing with ice cream the other day. I told him that eating ice cream was a privilege and if you want to eat it, you have to use a spoon. Some things are fine for fingers, but I draw the line at ice cream and hummus.

The other night I made a "bean box" for the kids to play with as I was trying to make dinner. They loved it. This photo was taken before the beans were poured all over the place, and after continually trying to keep them on the blanket, I said bye-bye to the bean box. Then, a dear friend, Laura Rhodes (former employee of Michael's), dropped by with a pizza because she knew we were alone. How thoughtful was that! I was very touched.

We were all so glad when Daddy came home late Saturday night!

Purple belt

Clara earned her purple belt last week. She participated with her class in the belt promotion the previous week but had declined doing the kata sequence in front of the class, so she couldn't receive her new belt. Her instructor was very accommodating and arranged to have a private session where she could do the belt promotion all by herself without people watching.

 Michael was out of town, so Robbie and I sat inside the studio on the side. Robbie loved all the karate equipment. (Hi big toe in the corner!)

 Mr. Matt, her instructor, helped her go through all the kicks and punches and the kata. She's moving so fast it's blurry!

 A great feeling of accomplishment.

We went to Chickfila for dessert to celebrate, and Clara got to use her A/B Honor Roll gift certificate on an ice dream cup. It's tough that Robbie wants whatever Clara gets, so we shared a little kids' cup, too.

We aren't going to be continuing karate anymore, but I am glad we did it. Clara is said to not be continuing, but for many reasons we are stopping (too much going on after school, she also started piano, the expense, and plus we are starting a new therapy program with her). Perhaps some day we'll start up again.

Way to go, kiddo!

Big Rocks

"Hey, Brittany! How are you doing?"

"Hey ___! Things are going well. Busy but good."

I feel like "busy" is always the answer I give. Is it good to be busy?

I'm not really sure. I completely agree with President Dieter F. Uchtdorf who said,

Let’s be honest; it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.

I honestly don't really know how to not be busy. I feel uncomfortable when there is empty space--I am the person who looks on her phone at the stoplight, trying to "use my time wisely." It is hard for me to tune in while I'm eating or playing so I can really be in the moment. My challenge to really just sit on the floor and play without my mind being on my to-do list is one of the main reasons I have as my yearly theme to "Be Present."

I don't want to say that I'm busy. Who cares about being busy? That's kind of a nonissue these days, you know? Who do you know that ISN'T busy? Even six-year-olds are busy with their lessons and activities in this day and age. Being busy isn't the point. Being engaged in the most important things--that is the point.

You know that object lesson with the jar and the rocks and sand, trying to fit it all in? You put the sand in first, and then there's no room for the big rocks and the smaller rocks. You put the big rocks in first, and then the smaller rocks and the sand somehow fall into place around the rocks and you have time for it all. When I put my study and prayer first, I somehow have time for the rest. But when I put everything else first, I never have enough time.

There's so much I want to do in life, so much I want to be better at. I want to get better at cleaning my house, organize the basement, teach my children better, connect with them more meaningfully, plan more meaningful Family Home Evenings, improve my voice and piano skills, reach out and share the gospel more, find time to practice yoga, improve my date nights with Michael, stop worrying about the future, enjoy the present, savor and tune in more when I'm eating, really drink deeply from the scriptures, pay off our debts sooner, improve my prayers and curb my self-criticism. So much to do.

I tried getting up at 4:15 for a week or so and just decided my body couldn't handle it--I was so so tired and felt my body was worn down. I wanted to get more done but just couldn't push my body that far. I still get up early but not that early.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, one of my favorite apostles, said the following in 2002, and it has stuck with me ever since (my emphasis added):

Sometimes we feel that the busier we are, the more important we are—as though our busyness defines our worth. Brothers and sisters, we can spend a lifetime whirling about at a feverish pace, checking off list after list of things that in the end really don’t matter.

That we do a lot may not be so important. That we focus the energy of our minds, our hearts, and our souls on those things of eternal significance—that is essential.

And then I read this on Stephanie Nielsen's blog just a few days ago:

Don’t teach your children that you can multitask 

them and your social media accounts.

Someday they will do the same to you,

and you wont like it.

I have been pondering things like "once a month cooking," books like Slow Family Living (haven't read it, debating on buying it), and how to make the time for the most important things. I have been thinking about how to be still, how to be okay with not "accomplishing things," what to remove from my life to improve it, what to do with our time this summer in terms of what skills to teach Clara, how to find time for myself, what to do as a family, etc. I am not one of the "let's just sleep in and relax" type of people. And that's okay. I want to work with who I am while also trying to be the BEST version of myself--a type-A person who also knows how to "schedule nothingness."

I realized that I am not really good at much. I am decent at some things and mediocre at others. I'm not being a martyr here. But wouldn't it be great to be AWESOME at praying and studying my scriptures? At being the BEST wife to my husband, at being a SUPER KIND mom and a THOUGHTFUL friend? All subjective, I know. But I don't want to be a jack of all trades and a master of none. President Uchtdorf reminds me of what my priorities are: (1) my relationship with God; (2) my relationship with my family; (3) my relationship with others; and (4) my relationship with myself. Frankly, when numbers one and two are good, the rest seem to fall into place and I am pretty happy. But when I am spending too much time online finding new recipes for dinner, researching how to irrigate Clara's ears, and trying to find a cute, modest bathing suit that will fit and that I won't hate for the summer, I am wasting valuable time. Not that some time on those things is bad because it's not. But it all goes back to the rocks and the sand in the jar concept.

Big rocks for me (DAILY REQUIREMENTS):

(1) daily personal and family prayer (twice daily)
(2) daily personal and family scripture study
(3) total facetime (meaning I am into that family member completely) at least once everyday with each member of my family, for however long I can in that time--maybe 30 minutes, maybe 10, maybe an hour
(4) reaching out to someone personally everyday
(5) exercising (5-6 days)

Small rocks for me (DAILY NEEDS):

(1) Cleaning something at home, go to bed with kitchen clean
(2) Checking FB and keeping in touch with others, keeping my inbox small,
(3) updating finances
(4) Planning menus, cooking, baking
(5) Teaching, playing, working with kids

Sand (WEEKLY NEEDS, sometimes more or less, varies):

(1) Blogging
(2) Working at the office (once a week)
(3) Practicing voice and piano
(4) Shopping
(5) Preparing for calling
(6) Random projects 

None of these thoughts are new. It's just what's on my mind of late.