December: celebrating the good

Christmas break, or really this December, was been a mixed bag. I could easily focus on the bad and say, "So glad that month is OVER!" Some choice remembrances might be the two-week cold Henry had with the numerous breathing treatments. Or the time in Sacrament meeting when Henry threw up (and I tried to catch it in my hands but there was too much overflow, and it dripped onto my tights and squelched in my shoe, splashed my cell phone (which wouldn't work temporarily but fortunately rice did the trick), in my church bag, etc.). Or possibly the other fun time when Michael got sick with weird aches and a fever on Christmas Eve and was in bed most of the day on Christmas (one of the few Sundays he didn't have meetings and might have even been able to sit with me in Sacrament meeting). Or that time when Robbie, Clara, and I got sick with the stomach bug--twice--(sure loved cleaning up throw-up and plunging clogged toilets) and Robbie missed being the wise man in his first preschool Christmas play. Or I could talk about Clara's IEP meeting and focus on the challenges that I see with Clara socially, academically, physically, organizationally, and anxiety-wise at school and at home or the deep, soul-pain I felt as I heard Clara try to make conversation unsuccessfully with a friend in the car.

Yes, all those things happened. And more. But there was a lot of good that happened this month, too, and frankly, while it's sometimes easier to be negative, it's also easy to find lots of wonderful good things that happened. Plus the craziness makes for good stories, so that's always a plus.

First of all, my goal was to get all my Christmas shopping done by December 1st. I didn't entirely succeed, but this year my December was a lot less focused on gifting and more on other things. That was a blessing.

One good thing is the wonderful experience we had orchestrating, organizing, and assembling needed household items for a refugee family who arrived here from Congo a few months ago (they had been in a refugee family in Tanzania for nearly twenty years--mom, dad, and five kids). There was a huge outpouring of generosity from members from both wards.

Our basement was full of donations--in fact, there was overflow that we were able to give to the refugee office to help other new families. They were so appreciative of the household items as they begin their new life here (both mom and dad work different shifts at the chicken plants--no car but he rides a donated bike several miles--at night--for his shift; she can walk to hers). I especially enjoyed showing the dad the automatic nightlights, seeing his dawning comprehension when I showed him how to use deodorant ("Ahhh, it's like perfume!"), and seeing the kids' serious interest in the Bandaids and Neosporin and the wonder of the Aquafresh toothpaste dispenser.

Michael delivered all the Christmas presents, and it was a moment really too special to capture in a photo.

Other positive moments were the kindnesses rendered to us by others: one friend cleaning up Henry's throw-up on the pew at church after I'd taken him out; another friend bringing us some chicken noodle soup the following Sunday when I was sick; lots of yummy goodies delivered to us, etc.

I was on a treat-making kick and made lots of goodies to deliver, too. We had a great time on Joseph Smith's birthday eating ham and johnnycake and then caroling with our good friends, the Robertsons, to some people at church and the Spirit was there as we sang together--the kids had great attitudes, which was so nice.

What a blessing that nearly all of our sickness occurred when there was no school or work so we could all recover and help each other. A rewarding moment was the hard work that paid off when the sextet I had been practicing with successfully performed "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" a cappella at the ward Christmas breakfast.

We also enjoyed a safe and meaningful trip to the temple for Michael to witness the sealing of a couple he had married a year ago and also enjoyed the beautiful Christmas lights.

After the sickness around Christmas, we enjoyed little outings, like going to a trampoline park in Charlottesville (Henry couldn't get enough of the sponge pit) and going on a short cold hike in West Virginia.

It was fun to see the kids' expressions at the crazy tricks our hibachi chef did when we went to a Japanese restaurant for dinner after the hike. Clara talked about it for several days afterwards.

Michael went golfing twice over break, and Robbie was a trooper tagging along, too. One ball landed in the water, but it didn't sink--the pond was covered in ice. Pretty funny.

For New Year's, we had our traditional Chinese take-out, and we celebrated with friends, Carina and Dathan Young. Their genius idea was to celebrate on London time, so at 7pm EST we watched the fireworks explode off the London Eye and the kids blew their horns and noisemakers (which I threw away later because they were driving me nuts).


Happy New Year!

Christmas 2016

Minus all the sickness, Christmas was great.

We enjoyed making graham cracker houses for Family Home Evening before Christmas.

 Ready to go! This was my first year making them in advance, which I definitely think was a good idea.

 One of Henry's favorite pastimes is climbing up on the counter. It drives me nuts and boy, he sure loves to do it. Clara wasn't really into doing hers (see the house in the back with the blog of frosting on the roof and five candies on it), but that's okay.

 This year for the first time, the elves brought Christmas pajamas on Christmas Eve while the kids were taking baths upstairs. What a surprise! Maybe they'll do it every year. I meant to get a pic of the kids in front of the tree . . . oh well. The boys were both kneeling so reverently that Michael had to snap a quick pic before we said the prayer.

  We enjoyed our Joseph and Mary dinner on a sheet by the fire, read Luke 2, and sang Silent Night. We didn't have any meat or hummus, so it was a fairly mess-free and simple meal. We felt the peace and warmth of the Holy Ghost, and it was special.

 The kids didn't wake up earlier than they normally do (between 6:30 and 7:00), which was nice. Clara was already dressed! We opened stockings on the bed first as usual. Clara had written a note to the elves making sure they knew not to put chocolate in her stocking (she's not a huge fan in general of chocolate). They honored her request.

 Robbie was super stoked about his Spiderman wallet and his Rescue Bots in his stocking.

 Henry's favorite gift was this huge apple. Seriously, he ate it entirely down halfway by the end of the morning--seeds and all--right in half.

 Opening presents one at a time. Henry got a little pop-up toy, a popper push-toy, and a big stuffed dog.

 Clara got a purse and hoodie, some books, and a container of Jelly Beadz to expand and play with. In her purse she discovered two gift cards to Claire's (one from Nana and Bapa) so she could get her ears pierced (which we did the next day)!

 Making some good progress on that apple, buddy.

 Robbie got Legos!

Clara really wanted a personal letter from Santa--perhaps next year. Santa is so creative with his magic green and red marker.

Here are the Jelly Beadz--before and after about six hours in water. Robbie also has his own container. Sensory fun!

I was super excited for the Bosu ball that Michael got me as well as some great houseware items (like some Silpat mats). Michael's main gift was a gift certificate he'd already purchased for snowboarding lessons at Massanutten. We enjoyed a few family gifts as well, like some games and Magnatiles. Very blessed.

Church was a little stressful with my singing in the choir for some of the time, and the kids sitting alone (a young woman watched Henry in the hall) but it all worked out. We had had oatmeal for breakfast that morning and then enjoyed our traditional Christmas breakfast casserole and cinnamon rolls for dinner that night. Michael stayed home and rested during the day but was fortunately feeling much better by Boxing Day. Sadly, Robbie threw up that night so we had to cancel our Boxing Day bash. But that's okay! Merry merry Christmas!

Wasted Cereal: a poem by Brittany Weiler

O wasted cereal

The bane of my life

Seeing you floating

Is a stab like a knife.

Beautiful Cheerios

Divine Oatmeal Squares

Piles of Mini-Wheats

Bloat without care.

Dollar signs flash

As I pour down the drain

The food that my children

Have left without shame.

The leftover scraps

I've been guilty of eating

But my heart's still unhappy

And the pleasure is fleeting.

And so my dear friends,

The food I adore,

I am sorry you've been wasted;

You'll be wasted no more.

While you won't be appearing

On my menu so often

In my heart you are near

Never ever forgotten.

When my tummy is needy

And the children aren't nigh,

To the pantry I'll sneak

On you I can rely. 

Reindeer Run!

Every December, Robbie's preschool hosts a "fun run" to raise money for extra expenditures. Robbie was pumped.

 Okay, he was more like, "What are we doing here?" Dressed up in snow boots (it has been rainy and cold, two t-shirts, a pullover, a coat, and his Reindeer Run shirt--oh, and let's not forget his antlers--Robbie was ready to go.

Robbie was a speedy runner (no surprise) and was the fastest in his class (not the overall race, though--there were a few in front of him). Not that it was a race, but he just can't help but run quickly. Here he is so far ahead of the pack that he wasn't sure which way to go.

 All done!

 He was tired afterwards, but it was nothing that a little hot cocoa, a reindeer cupcake, and a cookie couldn't fix.

Henry at eighteen months

Wow, Henry is now a year and a half. Awesome! He just gets busier, smarter, and funnier. He really does seem to enjoy things when they're funny and can tell when he's funny. He loves laughing with Robbie. He also loves teasing Robbie by taking things away or getting in his space or wrecking his creations, giggling while doing so. But they also have fun running around and laughing together. Tonight Robbie read Henry a book, which was quite sweet.

He points and does a lot of grunting to get what he wants--he does say "wawa" (water), "doggy," "no," "bye-bye," "nigh-nigh" (night-night), "bah" (ball), "swee" (swing), "booby" (blueberry), "poopy," etc. He is tolerating his glasses better--I just wish we could get some with 180-degree vision. His lack of good peripheral vision means he runs into things sometimes. Poor kid.

Henry enjoys looking at books and loves pulling things down (like ribbon on the Christmas tree), out (like the basket of potatoes in the pantry), and apart (like marker tops and sucking on the markers). He also likes climbing, going down the slide on his tummy backwards, and jumping on the trampoline while I hold his hands or hold him and jump.

Henry has had a cold for the past nearly two weeks, and the wheezing has persisted (he has had several other episodes since birth but not for about six months). He now tolerates his breathing treatments thanks to watching Baby Einstein. He will drag the nebulizer over to me in the kitchen because he wants to watch it. Hope he gets better soon and outgrows it.

Henry is pretty good on errands and especially loves the samples at Costco. I watched our neighbor's son, Luke, one morning while we went.

 Playing at the park with Daddy (and Grandpa) is the best.

 Henry loves to climb on stools and either get onto the counter (which he does all.the.time) or just snitch food that he finds there.

Who, me?

Good thing you're so cute, kiddo.

Being the chosen one: the quest for purpose and belonging

The chosen one. The special. The one who will break the spell.

Warner Bros/Buzzfeed

The theme of "the chosen one" is a common thread in storytelling: The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, the Lego movie, and certainly the Bible, among many others, all tell the story about an individual having a unique mission, of someone being set apart for an important purpose.

I have been thinking about this a lot recently. I can't speak for everyone, but I believe that there is part of each of us that desires to be that chosen one, the favorite, the one who is most loved, most cherished, the one and only. Who didn't feel envious of their siblings when they felt they were getting more attention? Who didn't want the teacher to like his or her paper the best or to get the highest grade? Who didn't want to read his or her patriarchal blessing for the first time and secretly hope that there would be information about a important mission contained therein?


                                          

In the excellent book, Siblings Without Rivalry, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, the authors share this thought:

To be loved equally is somehow to be loved less. To be loved uniquely--for one's own special self--is to be loved as much as we need to be loved. (p. 71)

That is what children--each of us--want: to be loved for ourselves, not the same as someone else or even in relation to someone else. And while the book is referring to siblings within a family, in a real sense, we as humans are all experiencing sibling rivalry on earth all the time. As spirit children of Heavenly Father and Mother, we are brothers and sisters, competing (often without realizing it) to be the best, to have the most, to be better or smarter or prettier or funnier or wealthier or more intelligent, even more righteous.

My parents have done a great job in helping me feel loved for who I am, despite my being the youngest below six very talented siblings.

 It's painful to admit, but I have subconsciously gauged my ranking in the sight of God based on the behavior of those around me, hoping that I'm more obedient or better than the person next to me and therefore more worthy of His love and blessings.

The inherent drive that I feel for belonging, for feeling needed, important, powerful, cherished: This drive can either lead me horizontally--looking to other people for acceptance, or vertically--looking to God for approval and belonging. When I look to others, I either feel falsely proud (at least I'm not doing that on Sunday) or inaccurately shamed (I am never going to be able to be as good a mom as she is). When I seek God's acceptance, however, I realize something.

I am chosen. I am loved. I am needed.

lds.org

Heavenly Father has always been about the individual. His work to bring us back to Him is not in general terms--it is to bring each one of us back, individually. President Howard W. Hunter said, "I have always been impressed that the Lord deals with us personally, individually." I love the parable of the lost sheep--the Savior cares about the one. While Jesus Christ is His Only Begotten, He doesn't love us less--in fact, He was willing to sacrifice His Chosen One in order to save each of us, each of His children. And not only that, but He has chosen us to help Him in that work.

lds.org

While Jesus Christ did teach groups of people, the majority of his miracles were for individuals. When He appeared to the Nephites in the Americas after His resurrection, it is recorded that "the multitude went forth, and thrust their hands into his side, and did feel the prints of the nails in his hands and in his feet; and this they did do, going forth one by one until they had all gone forth" (3 Nephi 11:15).

Another favorite scripture is when Jesus Christ appeared personally to the brother of Jared. Ether records, "And he (Jesus Christ) ministered unto him even as he ministered unto the Nephites; and all this, that this man might know that he was God, because of the many great works which the Lord had showed unto him" (Ether 3:18, emphasis added). All this. Just for one man to know that God loved him.

I bear my testimony that we are each loved uniquely by a Father in Heaven who can somehow make us each feel like His favorite. The Savior told His apostles in John 15:16, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you." While not ordained to the holy apostleship, each of us is "the chosen one," because we are the only one like ourselves and have been chosen for a purpose that only we can fulfill. We might feel small and insignificant, overshadowed by those who are more capable or talented. But like the puzzle of a thousand pieces, even if one piece is missing, the puzzle is incomplete. No one else can take my place because they are needed where they are in the puzzle.

http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Emmet

                                          

I feel so happy to be able to say along with Emmet, "I am the special!" And so are you.

Thanksgiving 2016

This year, we decided to make the trek down to Georgia for Thanksgiving. Although my parents are gone on their mission to SLC, it was fun getting to see the Weilers and a couple of my siblings as well. The drive down went well (until about the last hour and a half when Henry was done being in the car, but even with that it wasn't bad).

After having a great time spending the night with the Gertsch's, we headed to Lilburn to Michael's parents' home, dropped the kids off, and then drove to the temple in Atlanta with some of his siblings. It was so fun and special to be with them--pictured is Tabitha, L'Anita, and Seth and Marissa in the back.

Being together with family in the house of the Lord is truly a choice experience. (We also enjoyed a brief Costco and Atlanta traffic adventure afterwards.)

 Michael's parents live close to several parks, and we had made sure to visit a couple. This swing was so fun.

Michael also got to play golf with his dad and Robbie--definitely a much-appreciated birthday treat.

On Thanksgiving day, we joined the Weilers for their yearly tradition of hiking the five-mile trail around Stone Mountain. Robbie and Henry were such troopers--Robbie hiked almost the whole way without being held, and Henry was happy for much of the time in the backpack. Wish I had gotten a group shot, but here are a couple of pics. Clara had some stomach troubles and hung out with Seth and Melody (who were sick with a yucky cold) at home. I know she was happy getting to watch The Parent Trap!

 Taking a quick break by the lake.



That afternoon, we enjoyed our feast at the church building near Michael's parents' home. Everyone brought lots of deliciousness, including a bucket of fried chicken from Bojangles that Michael had been craving. Look at cute baby Andrew! (And Henry's pretty cute, too. Sorry about the bad pic, sweetheart!)

 One end of the table.

 The other end.

Look at all those cute cousins ravenous for the desserts!

On Friday, we drove to my brother Clay's house to spend some time with them. I have always loved being with their sweet family--they make you feel so welcome and loved. Amie and I enjoyed a quick jaunt to Publix and I had fun chatting with her as she prepared a delicious beef stew for dinner as well. Robbie enjoyed their Legos and electronics, and everyone adored Henry and couldn't get over the fact how much he looks like Bapa.

 Clara with cousins Faith and Lia enjoyed some Mario Kart and screen time.

 Tried to capture this funny shot of Henry who had climbed under their tree to feast on some ornaments. Fortunately no harm was done. (I think.)

Here I am with Clay and Matt. Matt and his wife Tana took the time to drop by on their way to see some of Tana's family, and Tana was such a trooper recovering from neck surgery on a couple of weeks previous.

We headed home that evening (Michael and his amazing car-driving stamina got us there by 1:30am), and it was so nice to have all of Saturday to get things back in order again.

I sure love my family. They are one of the best things for which I give thanks. Happy Thanksgiving!

Michael's burfday

The man of the house keeps getting older (funny how the lady of the house doesn't, haha) . . . thirty-eight and he just gets more handsome and continues to be the kind, fun, hardworking man that I fell in love with.

Waffles are his favorite, and I didn't even put in any wheat flour or change the recipe. As Maui from the movie "Moana" would say, "You're welcome."

 I made my mom's delicious lasagna for dinner and we had brownies and ice cream for dessert.

 The kids had fun hiding their presents and giving clues to help him instead of doing hot and cold this year (Robbie had a hard time resisting the urge to just tell him straight out and felt embarrassed when I scolded him, which I felt bad about). Here Robbie's doing the requisite ritual of "heavy, heavy hangover."

 We sure love Daddy!!

We actually celebrated his birthday on the 21st since we were traveling down to Georgia that night. However, we enjoyed a delicious dinner that night with our friends, the Gertsch family, on his official birthday.

Can't wait to spend the next million birthdays with you.