Fall gifts

For our orthodontic practice, October and November have become the "new" December in terms of busyness. Every year, Michael and I (but mostly Michael) prepare a gift for the many referring dentists in the area. We are very grateful for their referrals, and this is a small way to thank them. This year, we are giving gifts to 72 dentists. Their gift is based on the amount of referrals they give us. Last year's was a cooking theme. This year's is a movie/entertainment theme.

 Preparations in the basement. Can you tell my husband is a little bit OCD?

 The finished product (movie tickets, etc., if applicable, are inside the card). The wooden popcorn bowls are personalized for those dentists.

 I am thinking there might be an extra or two we will get to enjoy. Hopefully.

One set ready for delivery--Michael hand-delivers each one, driving to West Virginia and around in a wide radius to the dentists in the Valley.

By the time this is posted, all the deliveries will be done. It's a lot of work, but at least it isn't one more thing at the Christmas season.

Leaves

With the beautiful deciduous trees of Shenandoah Valley comes the inevitable fallen leaves.

 Worth the raking, though, and the very satisfying crunch they make under feet both big and small.

Who needs a turkey?

Robbie. It's what's for dinner.

I thought he was busy before.

Boy, was I wrong! This boy is in to EVERY thing. Climbing is truly an art that he is perfecting . . . and I know he is just getting started.

 His absolutely favorite thing continues to be getting into the car when it's parked in the garage. It's especially a good day if he can find a piece of gum in the side compartment.

 Hi Dad! I was just picking out a tie for you.

Wanna goldfish? How about eighty?

It's a good thing this kid's so darn cute and fun.

Outside re-do

Lest you thought that I was done with boring you with my chronicle of our house-building experience, I had to record the adventure we've had with the exterior.

When the house was built, we asked the excavators to bring in topsoil and put down grass seed.

After putting down the "topsoil" (which was really just clay fill dirt) and the expensive grass seed, it became clear that our money was wasted as weeds quickly overran the tender grass. ("Yeah, nice orange topsoil," one of the landscaping guys joked to me later.)

Then, we found out we had a leak in our outside water line (not inside the house, down by the street) because the excavators sliced the water line during the grading and then spliced it together with a coupling, which they later discovered was faulty.

So, we made them come back out and replace the entire water line. I really regret not taking a picture of the six-foot tall pile of red clay in our front yard. Fortunately, the excavating company agreed to pay for most of the $300+ water bill we had that month.

 Our builder is a great house-builder, but the exterior is not his forte. We had another company come out and put in French drains behind the retaining wall because the water was taking a couple of days to drain out after a big rain.


 We also had a tree company come out and remove some trees (which ironically we had wanted to save in the first place but later learned they weren't good varieties to keep). See the guy up in the cherry picker?

What little boy (or grown-up) doesn't love watching big trucks at work?

Unfortunately, the heavy tree-removal trucks compressed our drainage pipes as they went over the ground, so we had to get a new pipe put in later. And yes, that is the "orange topsoil," aka red clay.


 And we had a landscaping company come out and put in bushes and trees. I've learned a lot about bushes and trees in that process as we chose which ones we wanted to have in our yard.

The original design the landscape guy gave us had a lot of funky, unusual plants in it. My friend, Susan, (who has helped me with the interior) was super helpful with the exterior as well, teaching me that the landscaping should support the house and its style and not distract or detract from it. You also want to think about what colors you'll be seeing through the windows as you look outside so the outside complements the inside of the house. 

I was so happy I went with more traditional preferences: boxwood, laurel bushes, crepe myrtles, hydrangeas, roses, etc. I still need to learn about when I cut what back, though.

Here are the stepping stones Michael laid out after the new plants and mulch were put in but before the new topsoil and grass seed were put down over the hard clay and weeds.

Then the other landscaping company brought in eight loads of real topsoil, re-graded, and then put down more grass seed.


There's nothing like the sinking feeling of accidentally forgetting to turn as you back your husband's car out of the garage and disturbing precious newly grown grass.

We--and by we I mean mostly Michael--spent hours and hours watering the lawn every day, starting the water at 5:30 in the morning and then me finishing it off after he went to work. Moving those sprinklers is a pain in the heiny.

But in the end it has paid off pretty nicely. Although we are still watering, of course. But now it's just once a week instead of every day.

The grass growing in around the stepping stones is really fun.

Fresh after the first mow (taken several weeks ago--now the leaves have mostly all changed and dropped). And now the real work starts. But that's okay--it's worth it having Robbie push his little car over the grass and looking out to see a sea of green, finally.

Halloween Fun

Clara really wanted me to sew her a lion or a tiger costume for Halloween this year. I really didn't want to, and I searched and searched for a store-bought one for her. In the meantime, I found a great used one for Robbie. Then one day I persuaded her to be a bat for Halloween instead, feeling confident that I could more easily make a bat costume. Clara acquiesced to my request and was a super cute bat. She asked me for weeks before Halloween if I had made her costume yet, and fortunately the pattern we used was easy enough that she was able to help me sew it. She did well and it was a nice mommy-daughter experience.

 Clara's mask design is copied from this one (Michael drew it and I sewed it with Clara's help). Unfortunately, on Halloween night (this is the previous weekend) I could not find her mask, so I drew one on with eyeliner.

 Robbie is crazy good at looking at the camera. It's so nice.

 Bat girl says "AAAAAHHHHH!!"

 The bat is angry with me for making her continue to take pictures.

 She is threatened with not going to the church trunk-or-treat activity unless she lets me take pictures. She reluctantly consents.

And this cubby is just ready to go eat some candy off the floor and run around like a crazy lion with rabies.

Good times.

A personal definition

Since we have moved into this house, I have had a lot of thoughts about material possessions and about what defines who I truly am. I want to be defined by the things about me that are unchangeable. Here are some things that don't/I don't want to define me:

1. My belongings: These things--clothes, house, toys, books--could be taken away or given away and it would not change my personality or my character. So I don't want to think of myself--or have others think of me--in terms of a monetary or material quantifier.
2. My physical appearance: My hair, which is probably my most defining physical quality, is not always going to look this way. Some day I might have cancer and might lose it all. Would that change me as a person? I know my vanity would be affected, but my true self--my spirit and eventually my resurrected body--would be the same no matter if I gained two hundred pounds or my hair became straight or lost its color.
3. My status: My husband's profession, my responsibilities in the church, community, or at the office, are all earthly, temporary positions. They shouldn't define me because they're not permanent. A personal definition should be unchanging, I think, and not based on a season or situation in life.

What do I want to define me? Obviously, the intangible things that cannot be taken away from me:

1. My attitude: I want to have a better attitude--more positive, more kind, less judgmental, more compassionate and less worried. I want to smile and make eye contact more often with strangers. My attitude is something that I will take with me when I die, and I want it to be a good one.
2. My perspective: I think of this as a little different from attitude--I think attitude is the way you handle current problems, and perspective is the way you look at life. I want to be more hopeful and "longer" in my thinking (having an eternal instead of a mortal perspective).
3. My experiences: Whether hard or easy, my life experiences and memories are a part of me, and I treasure them. Even painful memories become sweet as I reflect on the lessons I learned.
4.  My skills and knowledge: I can always be learning and improving on my strengths while at the same time not taking pride in them or feeling discouraged when a season of life prevents me from working on a particular skill. We are commanded to increase our "talents." I think that increase can come in unexpected ways, and abilities we didn't have (or think we had) can be created or strengthened through our life experiences. For example, I am pretty sure I have more patience now than I did before I had children, an increase I probably wouldn't have gained had I not had this experience. Even if a skill is lost due to health problems, I am confident I can still regain it, even if it is not until the next life.
5. My testimony and relationship with the Lord: I have pretty much entire control over this one. If I am obedient and prayerful, I will grow closer and closer to my Heavenly Father through my whole life. I will feel His love more deeply and will be able to reflect that love to others. If I allow distractions and worldly junk and discouragement to get in the way, I will not be as close to Him as I could be, and my personal definition will be fuzzier around the edges.
6. My roles as woman, wife, mother, daughter, and sister (and all the other relationships, like cousin, in-law, granddaughter, etc.): These are gifts that I have been given, to have these different roles and responsibilities. And thanks to the sealing power of the temple, I will forever have these roles, and those who don't have them can receive them in the hereafter. These relationships can be worked on my entire life and cannot be taken away from me.

I think the experiences that we have in life both refine us and define us. The things of this world cannot define me because they are not truly who I am. I am a daughter of God who was sent here to earth to be proven and to help others, to form eternal relationships and to bring others to Him.

The person I become--as I experience the refining trials and the refreshing joys--during my earthly sojourn is what truly defines me. And the more refined I am, the more defined I will be--the fuzzy, blurred edges will be sharper and clearer, and I will see myself as the Lord sees me.

Jacob tells us, "For the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and as they really will be."

I want to learn to see myself as I really am, and as I really can be, and to see others in that light, too. I want to define myself by the Lord's dictionary and not the world's.

A visit and a getaway

Two weeks ago, Michael's parents and Hyrum came up to visit and to very kindly babysit for us so we could go on a getaway. We hadn't been away just the two of us for nearly two years. It was time.

 Before we left, however, we enjoyed a few days with the Weilers. Michael's dad's birthday was the day they drove up, so we celebrated upon their arrival.

 The Weilers bring their bikes up when they come to visit, and while Robbie was not happy about it at first, he quickly acclimated and enjoyed his cush ride. (Grandma Weiler is following behind out of this shot's range.)

 We spent two nights at The Homestead down in Hot Springs, Virginia. This hotel was first built in 1766 and has since gone through lots of updates and a fire and different ownership. It is very, very large.

Michael enjoyed a hot stone massage, and I had my feet "rescued" (a fancy pedicure). I am not into spas as they're not really the way I like to relax, but Michael loved it. I did enjoy sitting in a warm spa chair and took a little nap. It felt very weird walking around in a white hotel robe--I felt like we were in an "afterlife" planet on Star Trek or something.

The Homestead boasts the oldest still-existing golf hole in America. Michael was thrilled to be able to play this course.

 I enjoyed encouraging him from the side and sitting in my comfy seat in the golf cart reading between holes.

 The first night we ate at Sam Snead's Tavern, which was delicious. Friday night we dined in the hotel's luxurious ballroom. And yes, Michael was growing a goatee.

 Loved this dessert--it was like Magic Shell poured over really good ice cream.

My favorite part of the weekend was talking: planning together, discussing my concerns, and coming up with solutions for various things at work and at home. Can you tell my love language is quality time and words of affirmation? Basically if I can be listened to, if we can make plans together, spend some time outside, exercise, eat good food, and read, I am filled up.

 We tried to get a few classic self-timer shots on our way home.

 Wish I could have filmed my antics trying to jump over the wall and get to this spot in time. Michael looked handsome with the goatee, but I was very happy when he shaved it the day after we returned home. I'm not a facial hair kind of gal.

On our way home, Michael wanted to accommodate my desires for a better picture of us (vain me), so he pulled over to the side of the road. To get a good shot, he backed the car up . . . right into a ditch. A guy immediately pulled over and gave Michael a ride to the gas station where he got a tow truck to come and haul the car out. Meanwhile, I stood by the car and waited and had probably fifteen cars stop to see if I needed any help.

If you need to increase your faith in humanity, just get your car stuck in the middle of nowhere outside of a small town. So many good people are still in the world, despite what the news would have you think otherwise.

I had some really awesome pictures that I can't find anywhere!!! I must have accidentally deleted them from my camera. Super bummer because the ditch was pretty impressive.

After church on Sunday, we took a few shots before the Weilers had to drive home to GA.

When Hyrum arrived the previous Monday, he worried that Robbie wouldn't remember him. It did take him a little while, but Robbie quickly warmed up and loved Hyrum just like old times. We will have to keep showing Robbie pictures of Hyrum while he's gone on his mission (leaving next month to go to Irvine California, Spanish-speaking) so that he won't forget his favorite uncle. It was great having Hyrum here again, although it felt like another life when he lived with us since so much has happened since he left in June. We held an open house for him while he was here since so many people wanted to know how he was doing. He's a popular guy 'round these parts.

It was a wonderful visit. Thanks again, Grandma and Grandpa! And Hyrum!

Karate future?

Back in August I was folding laundry one day, and Robbie was being very quiet. I looked over on the floor and saw Robbie trying to put Clara's karate belt on.

"Hi Mom. Can I eat this?"

"Technically that's quite disrespectful, young one. But I will give you permission since you are the cutest karate student I have ever seen."

"Thank you, Mom Sensei. I will not disappoint you."

Who knows? Maybe we'll have two black belts someday.

Ka-rah-te

A few year ago, Michael showed Clara The Karate Kid. Since that time, occasionally Clara will ask Michael to be Mr. Miyagi (and I am therefore Mrs. Miyagi) and we pretend while speaking in a Japanese accent (probably politically incorrect, but there you go). After Clara finished her session of ballet over a year ago, she expressed an interest in doing karate, but I brushed it aside with the arrival of Robbie. Finally, after speaking with a couple of friends who have family members in karate, I decided to give it a try for Clara. We began in June and are now in the fifth month.

She has class twice a week for half an hour, which was the biggest deterrent (that and the expense). However, she can't really focus on homework during that time anyway since it's right after school, so it has worked out pretty well. Clara really enjoys doing karate, although the competency level/expectation for her is different, of course. Still, the instructor is encouraging, and she is improving in confidence. For example, occasionally after class they'll have a short game of dodgeball in the studio, and Clara used to cower in the corner and cry if she got hit. Now, she doesn't cry and has even thrown the ball back a few times, which is pretty huge. She also used to refuse to do the "grabs" where they practice what to do in certain situations, but then we went in and had a brief individual lesson and Clara since then has handled it well.

I love that they focus so much on discipline, character, respect, and safety. Another advantage for Clara is that it is an individual sport within a group setting, so it's not like a team is relying on each person to perform in order to win.

 It is pretty neat to watch Clara when she is in tune with her teacher. Here she is wearing her yellow belt right before they demonstrate their skills to the parents before receiving their next belt.

Her instructor, Mr. May, asked if he could have a hug, which she gave him. Here Clara is receiving her orange belt, which is the one after white and yellow.

Clara was very insistent that we take this action shot. She is proud of her new orange belt, and we are proud of her, too. I'm not sure how long we'll do karate since the advanced classes--after the next belt--require physical skills that aren't quite there yet, but we'll see.

In the mean time, I am determined to learn to tie that dadgum belt correctly--I don't know if it's because I'm left-handed or what, but I seem to do it wrong nearly every time, and at the belt promotion ceremony this past week, Mr. May said to Clara in front of all the parents when all the students were lined up, "Good try, sweetie, did you tie this one?" "No," Clara responded. "My mom did." Ouch.

Way to go, Clara!

Enough already

Recently Michael and I have been talking about how I feel a lot of guilt. All the time. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how right he was. Without realizing it, I am inundated by messages that tell me I am not enough.

I read somewhere (can't remember the source to quote it) about how magazines are a perfect example of those messages. Better Homes and Gardens tells me that my home can (and therefore, should) be prettier and more organized. Real Simple tells me I can (and therefore, should) be more organized and clean my house more efficiently. Southern Living and Cooking Light tell me I can (and therefore, should) cook more delicious meals faster.

{I am going to avoid magazines--except for this one, especially.}

In the world's eyes, I am never enough. I can--and therefore, should--be thinner. I should be eating fewer processed foods. I should be eating local. I should be limiting my intake--and especially, my children's--intake of sugar. I should be doing more intervals and strength training when I exercise. I should be doing more yoga and pilates. I should be exposing my children more to a variety of experiences to expand their outlook and opportunities. I should be better at cleaning my house on a schedule and more efficiently. I should be keeping up more on current events and feel more passionately about them. I should be more involved in my community.

I am trying--with the Lord's help--to change my skewed, mortal perspective. I am good enough now. This doesn't mean that I shouldn't be improving--the Savior tells us to "Look unto me in every thought" ( D&C 6:36). Obviously if I actually did that I would be a much better person than I am now.  I have a long way to go. But "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Phil. 4:13).

I no longer want to live for my schedule. I don't want to live for my house, to live for my to-do list, to live for my yard, to live to work out. I want to live to help others, to strengthen my relationships with my husband, my children, my siblings and parents, my friends and neighbors. I want to live to be happy, to find joy, to grow, to learn, to laugh (and yes, even at myself, which I am not good at doing). I want to live to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with others, to follow Him. Did Jesus have a to do list? Not that the lists are bad, but they have become an end in and of themselves for me.

This talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf resonates with me:

Let’s be honest; it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.

So to all the junk that the world dishes out, I would like to say, "ENOUGH ALREADY!! Because you know what? I am enough already."

I don't want to feel guilt about every single thing I do. 

And I have decided some things:

1. If I make a meal with a can of cream of mushroom soup, I am not a sinner, and if someone else makes a meal with all-organic, local vegetables, they are not a saint. Nor does it mean that they're a sinner. I am wondering if it's a non-issue in the Lord's eyes. Taking care of my body and my environment is important, but keeping my eyes focused on Him and not becoming lost in the world's worship of the flesh (even in the name of health) is essential.

2. I am enough even though my bathroom tile is dirty.

3. I am worthy of God's love and blessings even though I ate a lot of cookie dough yesterday and felt sick afterwards.

4. I am a good mom even though I sometimes pack my daughter's backpack for her instead of making her do it herself. I am a good mom even though sometimes I look on the computer when Robbie's awake.

5. I can sincerely repent of sins I continually make over and over and Heavenly Father will help me change. Just because I know better doesn't mean I am unworthy of His forgiveness.

If--no, when--I wonder if I am enough, I can remind myself of the Savior's words: "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands" (Isaiah 49:16). If I am good enough to be part of Him, then I am turn my back on the world's messages and decide I am enough right now.

A night in the great outdoors

A few weeks ago, we enjoyed our first family campout since the addition of Robbie.

I can't remember where I got the idea to bring the booster seat, but it was awesome. We camped with families from church, which was fabulous since I didn't have to prepare any food. Michael did treat everyone to one of his delicious dutch oven cobblers, however. Another boon was that one of the other dads created a very spiffy little outhouse area since we were in primitive camping. This was a great relief to Clara, who wasn't very keen on the idea of "wetting in the wilderness," as Michael called it when he was a kid.

Robbie was not too sure of the whole experience. I had anticipated him wanting to get in the fire and run off when we got there. However, he was more inclined to hang out with me, which it made it much easier to keep my eyes on him. Clara, who at first was not thrilled about the experience in general, immediately perked up when she saw other friends from church there. She had a great attitude the whole time.

We borrowed our friends' enormously awesome tent into which we fit Robbie's pack 'n play (although he spent most of the night by my side since he was crying), and despite not too much sleep we feasted on breakfast burritos (that I didn't have to make) and enjoyed the whole experience very much. I am looking forward to the next camping trip.

Farm table and chairs reveal

A few months ago I posted about my trip to the Strong Oaks Woodshop in Front Royal, VA to order a farm table.

It arrived in July, but I wanted to wait until the chairs were redone to show the finished product.

These chairs were part of a dining set from my grandmother given to me by my mom. I love the set (the dining table is currently in our study and used as a multi-purpose homework table) but knew I wouldn't use the chairs in their current state--not because they aren't beautiful but because they aren't completely my style. When I had talked to my designer friend, Susan, about painting some antique chairs to go with the table, I realized, Hey, I've already got some of those!

Here they are at the refinishers' shop before they were stripped. Then they were taken down to an upholsterer to redo the fabric and foam.

Ta-dah! I am so so pleased with them. I love the blend of traditional with contemporary, antique with cottage. This print is a Jacobean floral (I've learned all sorts of words and concepts I'd never even heard of before), which isn't as stuffy as some floral prints can be. The color is the same color that is behind our shelves in the living room.

 I absolutely love the table, too--it is so heavy you can't even push it, which is great when getting up from the table (the chairs move instead of the table).

 The chairs are super comfortable, which I'm not sure is a good thing since you want to sit longer at the table and therefore eat more.

 Of course, after this picture was taken, I moved an end chair away to a corner and put the high chair back and then put a towel on Clara's seat to keep it clean. "Life is the messy bits." (Name that movie.)