A personal definition

Since we have moved into this house, I have had a lot of thoughts about material possessions and about what defines who I truly am. I want to be defined by the things about me that are unchangeable. Here are some things that don't/I don't want to define me:

1. My belongings: These things--clothes, house, toys, books--could be taken away or given away and it would not change my personality or my character. So I don't want to think of myself--or have others think of me--in terms of a monetary or material quantifier.
2. My physical appearance: My hair, which is probably my most defining physical quality, is not always going to look this way. Some day I might have cancer and might lose it all. Would that change me as a person? I know my vanity would be affected, but my true self--my spirit and eventually my resurrected body--would be the same no matter if I gained two hundred pounds or my hair became straight or lost its color.
3. My status: My husband's profession, my responsibilities in the church, community, or at the office, are all earthly, temporary positions. They shouldn't define me because they're not permanent. A personal definition should be unchanging, I think, and not based on a season or situation in life.

What do I want to define me? Obviously, the intangible things that cannot be taken away from me:

1. My attitude: I want to have a better attitude--more positive, more kind, less judgmental, more compassionate and less worried. I want to smile and make eye contact more often with strangers. My attitude is something that I will take with me when I die, and I want it to be a good one.
2. My perspective: I think of this as a little different from attitude--I think attitude is the way you handle current problems, and perspective is the way you look at life. I want to be more hopeful and "longer" in my thinking (having an eternal instead of a mortal perspective).
3. My experiences: Whether hard or easy, my life experiences and memories are a part of me, and I treasure them. Even painful memories become sweet as I reflect on the lessons I learned.
4.  My skills and knowledge: I can always be learning and improving on my strengths while at the same time not taking pride in them or feeling discouraged when a season of life prevents me from working on a particular skill. We are commanded to increase our "talents." I think that increase can come in unexpected ways, and abilities we didn't have (or think we had) can be created or strengthened through our life experiences. For example, I am pretty sure I have more patience now than I did before I had children, an increase I probably wouldn't have gained had I not had this experience. Even if a skill is lost due to health problems, I am confident I can still regain it, even if it is not until the next life.
5. My testimony and relationship with the Lord: I have pretty much entire control over this one. If I am obedient and prayerful, I will grow closer and closer to my Heavenly Father through my whole life. I will feel His love more deeply and will be able to reflect that love to others. If I allow distractions and worldly junk and discouragement to get in the way, I will not be as close to Him as I could be, and my personal definition will be fuzzier around the edges.
6. My roles as woman, wife, mother, daughter, and sister (and all the other relationships, like cousin, in-law, granddaughter, etc.): These are gifts that I have been given, to have these different roles and responsibilities. And thanks to the sealing power of the temple, I will forever have these roles, and those who don't have them can receive them in the hereafter. These relationships can be worked on my entire life and cannot be taken away from me.

I think the experiences that we have in life both refine us and define us. The things of this world cannot define me because they are not truly who I am. I am a daughter of God who was sent here to earth to be proven and to help others, to form eternal relationships and to bring others to Him.

The person I become--as I experience the refining trials and the refreshing joys--during my earthly sojourn is what truly defines me. And the more refined I am, the more defined I will be--the fuzzy, blurred edges will be sharper and clearer, and I will see myself as the Lord sees me.

Jacob tells us, "For the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and as they really will be."

I want to learn to see myself as I really am, and as I really can be, and to see others in that light, too. I want to define myself by the Lord's dictionary and not the world's.