Blueberries! (say it with an British accent--you know you want to)

Saturday morning was perfect. It brought an unseasonably cool and deliciously dry morning for us to pick blueberries.

Who could help but smile when there are literally millions of berries at arm's--or rather, hand's--length?

Oh, mama.

There was an idyllic horse pasture at the end of the blueberry grove, and this one was eager for a handout. Brave Clara!

He was a fan.

Hooray for fields of grass and especially for blueberries at $8.00 a gallon.

No talking

A year or two ago my mother-in-law suggested a book to me by Andrew Clements entitled No Talking. (He's written lots of other good children's books, too.) It is a quick read, but the message was thought-provoking.

Essentially, some kids have a contest (boys against girls) that they can't speak at all (maybe for a week? I can't quite recall the details). If an adult talks to them and they have to answer, they can only use three words. That's it. Anyway, there is much more to the story, but essentially, the jist you get by the end is not only the power of words, but the power of their absence.

In my efforts to learn how I can best help Clara connect socially, listen and follow directions, and communicate more appropriately, I've looked into a program called Relationship Development Intervention, which is a very cool but very expensive ($10,000 and up) program for kids on the autism spectrum. Along a much cheaper avenue, I ordered an RDI book containing exercises and games to play with your child to improve certain skills. One of them is a "no-talking" game. You choose an activity where normally you would have to talk (e.g. not watching TV) and then you just don't. You can mime, point, and be very expressive otherwise.

The first time I tried this, we were cleaning up Clara's room. This is a daily struggle. When I stopped talking, Clara made so much more eye contact with me. She had to look at me to find out what she needed to put away next. And not only that, it was FUN for her! And for me, too. I realized then, and have been reminded several times since, that my frustration levels are so much lower when I simply use FEWER words. What a novel idea. Instead of trying to convince her or powerfully (tongue in cheek) persuade her through my speech, I used actions, pointing, and very (corny) facial expressions to get her to do things.

Last week during our "techno-free week" when I lost my voice, I did this some, too. It's quite liberating to just shut your trap and let your body do the talking. One thing Clara struggles with is using non-verbal communication herself, so occasionally we practice nodding or shaking our heads, etc.

Another principle that the RDI book talks about is speaking more slowly. SLOWLY. And using fewer words when you do speak. I guess I can be a pretty fast talker sometimes (all the time?). When I slow down, I feel silly and stilted, but Clara certainly pays more attention. The concept is that speech is a commodity, and the only way you make it more valuable is to make it less available. Interesting concept, isn't it? I constantly forget, but I'm trying to get better. I think all children could benefit from having less spoken at (notice I didn't say "to") them.

How can I expect my child to listen to me if I talk so much all she hears is the Peanuts comic strip teacher, "Wah-wah, wah wah wah, wah wah"?


Maybe actions really do speak louder than words.

Techno-free week retrospective

Ahh, it feels good to be back.

I'm not going to lie to you--this last week was challenging. But I learned a lot. I learned that I really love music (not like that was anything new) and really missed listening to it in the car with Clara or on the CD player at home. Granted, it's almost always her music, but still, it was music nonetheless. A huge bummer about this week was that I got a cold the week previously and then this week had laryngitis, so my plans to sing a lot together were thwarted because my voice was gone for several days. We had a lot of silence instead. (But more on that in another post.)

I learned that moderation in all things is best. For example, I don't think there's anything wrong with letting Clara watch one or two Blue's Clues DVD episodes after quiet time (after she cleans up her room). But I want to do it less frequently, maybe three times a week, say. I don't want to depend on it as part of our routine, as in I'm mentally thinking, "Five days a week at 3:00 Clara watches a show for 45 minutes," which I confess was frequently my gameplan in times past. I don't know. I'll have to keep thinking about it.

As for the computer, that was definitely the hardest part. I realized it was silly for me to limit the entire computer--I should have just limited it to the Internet, since that is my main time-waster. I have a pile of receipts to enter into our finances and other things I now need to do this week that didn't require the Internet. And for the record, I did limit it to 10 minutes a day, except yesterday when I think it was more like 16 or something. Sorry.

A huge plus to not being online was that I felt less of the "world" and its influence. That was nice, but also somewhat isolating as a stay-at-home mom. Again, moderation in all things. I'm trying to think up a good way to limit my Internet time--maybe half an hour a day, or only getting on when Clara's asleep, or something like that. I'm thinkin' on it. One thing I started doing was making a list of things I wanted to look up on the Internet when I had "my time," so I would make more efficient use of the 10 minutes. It's pretty incredible how much you can get done in that amount of time! I think I'll do this anyway because there are so many times that I get on the computer during Clara's quiet time and think, "Ooh, I needed to find out about such-and-such" but can't remember what it was until later when I have to get on again when I should be playing with my child.

All in all, I'm glad I did it. Clara was quite the trooper, although on more than one occasion she said, "The TV's broken? and the DVD player's broken? and the CD player's broken?" or things to that effect. Poor kid!

Here are a few highlights of what we did instead:

As part of Teach Me Mommy, one day we--Clara--painted using celery. Messy but fun.

She also enjoyed making a picture with different grains and beans.

Clara played more on the piano than I've ever seen her before. It was so completely rewarding to watch her playing and hear her singing. I think she missed the music as much or more than I did.

In one of my ten-minute computer sessions, I learned that you can freeze tomatoes. I was thrilled.

Cracking peanuts. I got this idea from one of my sensory processing books and it is great for so many things: fine motor skills, a yummy snack, and it's fun and rewarding. No wonder you never see fat squirrels--they spend too much time and energy just cracking their nuts open.

Techno-free week

The world is too much with us; late and soon;
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

(William Wordsworth)

This sonnet by Wordsworth is one of my favorites because it perfectly expresses how I feel at times. I often feel an inner struggle between my focus on worldly things and my desire to "get away from it all" and be free from the hassles that the world brings.

So, for a little break and a challenge during a somewhat boring month, this next week (starting Sunday) I am going to go technology-free. Kinda. For me, this means the following:

• no videos for Clara or me (we don't have a t.v. connection, so that's not a biggie)
  
• no television at the gym (ouch!!)
  
• only 10 minutes of computer time a day (y'know, bills, emergency emails, etc.--I'm gonna have to use a timer for this one so I don't cheat . . .)
  
• no radio
• no CDs

Yes, I'll be using my cell phone and land line. I can only go so far.

I guess it's all relative, but I think it's going to be just as hard as this experiment was in some ways. I confess I really like feeling connected (i.e. via the Internet) and having a window to the outside world. I know there are many who go for days without checking their email and Google Reader. That ain't me.

You might be wondering about the music--well, why the heck do I have a piano if I don't find the time to play it every day? In the car, Clara almost always wants a CD on and doesn't often like it when I say, "How about we sing some songs!" But now, I can say that the CD player/radio/TV isn't working this week, so we can sing if we want to make music.

I'll let you know how it goes. See you in a week!

Clothing emotions

I'm not sure if this makes me materialistic or just plain weird, but I've found that different items of my child's clothing evoke different emotions in me.

Satisfaction: When a pair of jeans is worn and adored so much that two patches form in the knees. (Clara still wears these, despite 98 degree weather and being too big for them.)

Amusement: When your daughter comes home wearing these after playing in (yes, in) a pond with her grandfather and cousins.

Gratitude: For your mother who cleaned them while you were out.

Pride: When your daughter goes bowling for the first time and handles the experience better than expected. (An added bonus--she loved the shoes but of course didn't want to leave them).

Anger, Disappointment, Resignation: When you forget to remove the Sunday dress (also the dress she wore for family pictures)--after only two wearings!--and your child gets permanent dry-erase marker stains on it while a friend is momentarily babysitting her.

Annoyance, Sympathy: When the beloved "polka-dot shoes" from last year are much too small but your child begs you to help her put them on nearly every day.

Tomatoes: trial or triumph?

I used to pride myself on having a green thumb--I took care of my parents' vegetable garden for a few years as a kid and then Michael and I grew terrific corn and tomatoes out west. I also used to have grand plans to major in horticulture because I loved flowers and plants and even made flash cards a few years ago so I could learn the names of various plants.

Then I realized that actually, my parents were really in charge of the garden, and Michael did way more watering than I did out in Provo.

So, this whole "gardening thing" this summer has been somewhat stressful, scary, and exciting for me. (Don't tell me how pathetic that sounds.) Given my lack of experience, don't you think that my first year Mother Nature could give me a gentle beginning, instead of baptism by fire? Apparently not.


Problem number one: blossom end rot. This delightful condition (shown above) occurs when there is inconsistent watering (too much, too little, or too sporadically) or a calcium deficiency. You can still eat the tomato after cutting off the rotten bottom, but the perfect fruit ain't purty no mo'.

Solution: lime supplement and more consistent watering (we've learned that we need to water at least once a day, if not twice).

Problem number two: aphids. (not pictured)

Solution: Spray an organic bug killer, like Earth tone Insect Control.

Problem number three: slugs. (not pictured)

Solution: I finally had to dispense with the beer cups because although MANY slugs were drowned, my flowers were still being eaten. So I purchased Sluggo, a pet-friendly (my neighbors have roaming pets) pesticide that has worked quite efficaciously.


And now for the royal pain in the heiny problem number four: hornworm caterpillars.

Yeah, do you see that delightful five-inch long, perfectly camouflaged nightmare eating my tomatoes and their leaves? He had no sense of decency--boy, did he and his siblings have droppings. (No joke--they were everywhere and looked impossibly large for a caterpillar. But they were theirs.)

Here you see Michael using a knife to pry off the caterpillar as he clings desperately to his life and food supply. We found five large ones and, I don't know, two or three little ones. Hornworm caterpillars hatch from eggs laid by the sphinx moth, in case you were wondering. They also spurt green guts if you pierce them with a knife accidentally.

Solution: Drowning.

In the meantime, we'll enjoy the fruits of our labors for as long as we can. It might only be for another week, but we'll take what we can get.

A father's day limerick

There once was a great guy named Dad
His daughter's heart he always had.
He read her sweet tales
Listened to her long wails
His presence always made her quite glad.

A few years beyond her a boy
Grew up with more masculine toys.
But like the young miss
With her childhood bliss
He too a great dad did enjoy.

One day that small girl grew up tall.
The young man that she met did enthrall
Her so much
And his heart she did touch
That a marriage them soon did befall.

At length tidings blew from the horn
A sweet daughter was soon to be born.
When once her dear pere
Saw the eyes they both share
His face deepest joy did adorn.

And now though the young girl seems grown
In her heart she has always known
That a father's devotion
Transcends time and motion . . .

Daddy's love is never outgrown.


Happy Father's Day to my own father, my father-in-law, and my dear husband and father of our daughter. I love you.

Last vote...one more time, please?!

It's a good thing I'm not indecisive or anything. (NOTE: We decided we need to do a landscape version instead of a portrait due to current frame situations.)


(1)

(2)


(3)
This is the last time I'll bug you! Or not.

Seriously, thanks for your help!

Help: urgent advice needed

Last month we had some family pictures taken by a sweet couple from church who do photography on the side. They've done some really lovely work. We were fairly pleased, but our biggest bummer was that there wasn't a particularly great one of the three of us. Or one of Clara actually looking straight at the camera with a genuine smile. I know, Michael and I are both perfectionists, so I guess it's all relative. But meanwhile, we really can't decide which shot we should use to hang on our own wall and to give to our parents.

Can you please help us decide which picture we should choose? Hey, if my parents and in-laws are reading this, why don't you just pick the one you like best?!

And can I just say that getting family pictures taken has to be one of the most stressful experiences ever? The last time we had them taken was before Clara turned two, and I think the next time will be when she gets married. And don't get me started on my hair in these pictures.

(1) This is the one of the few of Clara looking at the camera. She looks so delighted to be doing this.

(2) Clara looking up but half-smiling.

(3) Clara smiling more but eyes more closed.

(4) Cute smile but looking down.

(5) This one's nice, but the lighting is a bit harsh.
(6) Same in black and white.

(7) The lighting on this wasn't quite right so it looked best in black and white.


WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE BEST?


Here are some other sweet ones . . .

The beach!

My brother, Bryan, and his family invited us to stay a couple of days with them while they relaxed at Hilton Head. We begrudgingly accepted.

Once the tide went out, Clara loved the warm shallow water of the tidal pools, or "quiet water" as Grace called it.

Before that, she spent a lot of time cuddled up with me, trying to escape the strong winds and the uncomfortable sand.
Michael helping Grace build a sandcastle. It was quickly decimated.

Emily reading. Besides the fact that she's not only one of my dearest friends and also married to my brother, I'm also glad I know Emily because I can always hit her up for book suggestions.

Fun with Daddy! We were so proud of her for enjoying the waves after awhile.

Now, for the most important part of the visit: sandcastles.

Michael's: Perfectly engineered and equipped with two gargantuan guns.

Bryan's: Perhaps less perfectly constructed, but as he pointed out, it has way more guns and more turrets.

I'm not sure which castle would win in battle. I think a safer bet would be to form an alliance because they'd certainly need all the help they could get against the ultimate fortress:

Mine.

The seashells on the roof really put it over the top, don't you think?

Good times, great memories

This week we were treated to a visit from my awesome brother Bryan, his amazing wife, Emily, and their adorable kids, Clay and Grace. Clay and Grace both have such sweet, fun personalities, and Clara got along well with them, which was very heartwarming to see.

Clay and Clara (wearing my brother's cap).

Playing on the blow-up mattress. Look at Grace's curls!

We took them to the Savannah River and had a fun picnic. We always bring the potty wherever we go, so Clara enjoyed a scenic view while, y'know . . .

Buttery corn on the cob, hot chicken bruschetta, strawberry salad, Irish soda bread with strawberry freezer jam, and ColdStone ice cream afterward. It was my kind of picnic.

The aftermath: distended stomachs and contended bodies.

Summer comfort food

Need I say more?