Spend out (but not with money)

One of my favorite reads of this year was The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It's her experiences and journey through a year of trying to improve her overall level of happiness in a methodical, thoughtful way. One month she talks about her efforts to "spend out," meaning to stop waiting for a special occasion or reason to give or do or use something. Instead of saving the china or the stationary or whatever the precious item is, spend out. Use it. Enjoy it. Don't keep waiting for the perfect opportunity, only to have the years pass without ever finding perfection.

I love that principle because it is liberating and empowering. The sheets of cardstock, for example? Sure, why not let Clara use it? The beautiful quilt from Michael's great-grandmother? Hang it up for all to admire and enjoy.

Well, this concept has come around again this Christmas season with my American Girl doll, Samantha. I got Samantha on my eighth Christmas and was so excited. I had read the books about her and poured over the catalogs (which at that time only had Molly, Kirsten, and Samantha) for a long time.

My mother made her--and me--beautiful dresses from the catalog patterns. We slowly accumulated accessories for her--not the Pleasant Company's, but ones that we found and made ourselves (I had a collection of food magnets that we used for her kitchen). My mother and brothers (I think?) painted doll furniture for her. She was my best friend. While I knew she wasn't real, my brothers would tease me, "Samantha's not real!" and I would yell back, "Yes she is!" Or they'd threaten me when I was annoying me by saying that they'd "go get Samantha" and I'd quickly acquiesce or chase them up the stairs before they could get to my bedroom. (I don't really remember if they ever did take her--I think it was just an empty threat since they were actually pretty nice big brothers.)

As the years passed and I played with her less, I still kept her on my shelf in my bedroom. When I finally boxed her away when I went to college, I felt slightly uncomfortable putting her in a box where she couldn't breathe, even though I knew she was just a doll. Silly? Yes. Juvenile? Yes. But really, I lived through the stories (and also loved some of the other doll stories, too) and Samantha was a person, not just a doll. She was a friend.

And so, I am finally ready to spend out and give Clara my Samantha doll. She has asked for her before, but I wasn't willing. Now I am. Will Clara love Samantha the way I did? I don't know. Will she mean the same to her as she did to me? I don't know. But I DO know that if I always keep Samantha in a box for when Clara is "ready" for her, or if I never share her, then I will regret it. If she gets dirty or her hair gets tangled, if she's thrown on the floor (gasp!), I will be happy knowing that my little girl has the opportunity to love Samantha like I did.

So I had to take a picture and give you a sneak peek of what this looked like before I wrapped it up.

 It was very special and memory-evoking as I put on her little tights and bloomers, fastened her black boots and put in her original hair ribbon. She still needs to be taken back to the shop to have her hair redone, though.

Since Clara loves pretending so much, I thought she'd appreciate this note that Samantha kindly left for her to see upon unwrapping it.

I can definitely relate to Andy on Toy Story 3. I think he definitely made the right choice by giving his beloved friends to someone who could continue to enjoy them. "So spend out," is what I say.

We'll see what Clara says on Christmas morning. I think she and Samantha will be very happy together.