Birthday fun fun fun

This year, 43, was a good birthday. I'm starting to get to the point that others older than I am have expressed in not wanting to be celebrated on my birthday because birthdays mean I'm getting older. I know forty-three is quite young comparatively, and I give thanks for the years that I have been given and for the sacrifice my parents made to bring me into the world and raise me. 

I told Michael that the only two things I wanted on my birthday were (1) a family picture and (2) for the kids to play well together. While I was getting ready for the day (a fast Sunday, which disappointed the kids because they wanted to bring me breakfast in bed, but which made my day a little easier), Michael went out to the living room to play with the kids and let me have some space. He came back into the bathroom and said, "Your gift will have to be a gift in progress. I think the best way for your birthday gift to be realized is if you go off by yourself and imagine the kids playing well together." :-) 

Too true. There are definitely sweet moments, and hearing them laugh together is truly golden, but sometimes these days I struggle to see the forest for the trees and get so bogged down by the competing and teasing and bickering. I try to focus on the good choices they are making, which are numerous, but when one brother teases another and the second brother proceeds to punch the first brother in the back multiple times, my patience is often pushed to the tipping point. I continue to work on my parenting skills and learn from books, but I also recognize that acting like a disciple of Jesus Christ using a soft answer to turn away wrath is the best solution. If only I could achieve that more than a tenth of the time... I think much of it will be resolved when they just grow up and their prefrontal cortices are more developed. But that also means that the decisions they make then have greater consequences. Every season has its blessings and challenges, and I am trying to savor Clayton's sweet kisses and hugs around my neck, his willingness to tidy up, and how he likes collecting acorns in his pockets; Benjy's eagerness to play a game with me and his curiosity (which recently led him to taking apart his kaleidoscope so he could see how it worked); Henry sharing what he's learning about in school (currently the middle ages) and watching him play sports; talking with Robbie at night about school and watching him run super fast in cross country; and Clara asking me, "What's the plan?" multiple times a day and informing me, "I need a hug." She gives great hugs. I truly am a blessed mother. (Of course, I am typing this while sitting at an airport gate on my way to visit my parents; amazing how a little perspective helps spur gratitude!).

Michael wrote me a really special card with 43 accomplishments I've made by this time in my life. As a stay-at-home mom, it's hard to feel I've accomplished much at all, and his reminders helped me feel seen and loved.

The kids also wrote me sweet cards.

From Henry.

From Robbie.

From Benjy. I love the "I love you to Dad!"

My friend, Joy Lansing, also met up with me for lunch at Keswick Hall in Charlottesville the week after, which made me feel loved.

And my big gift was a trip to Utah to see some of my family! What a treat this trip has been. 

The first morning, we rose bright and early and did a sealing session at the Orem temple. It was so beautiful and I loved the cherry blossom theming throughout the temple.

I'm so grateful for my parents who continue to serve, smile, and endure to the end despite health challenges and the difficulties of getting older. 

It's been such a lovely trip, and some highlights have been . . . 

. . . lunch at Cubby's with Emily and hanging out with Emily and Bryan at their place,

. . . the BYU bookstore and Guru's for dinner with Heather,

. . . an amazing hike in Rock Canyon with Bryan and Heather,

. . . walks with my parents around their block, seeing their impressive dialysis setup for my dad and being amazed by their positive spirit through it all, errands with my mom, yummy dinner with Heather and my parents, sharing spiritual experiences at the lunch table,

. . . a fun cooking class with my mom,

. . . enjoying a Dunford donut and bringing some home to the kids. 

. . . spending time with my awesome parents. 

. . . and seeing how sweet Hobbes is with Emily and Bryan. 

It was a wonderful trip! And you know how it is, when the cat's away, the mice play:

Michael took the boys (Clara didn't want to go) to an iFly location where they (even Clayton) got to experience indoor skydiving. So cool!

Happy 23rd Anniversary to Us!

 This year was a special anniversary--23 years on August 23. It truly is hard to believe. I used to wonder if older people were the same as their younger selves, and now I can pretty solidly say, yes, I am just the same as the person I was when I was married. I hope I'm a more intelligent, compassionate, less judgmental person, but I think in terms of desires, interests, and personality traits, I'm pretty much the same. Our marriage is one of my greatest blessings and joys. Even when the kids are being so difficult and I feel super discouraged about the future when I focus on my fears, I express deep gratitude to Heavenly Father for our relationship. 

We were really grateful to get to to on a little getaway for two nights for our anniversary. We discussed various destinations but decided to go to the lake house and get some projects done that we can't do when the kids are there (like clean out the boathouse). 

Michael got to do a wake surfing lesson, and I enjoyed watching him persevere and succeed. I didn't feel the need to try myself :-)

Later that evening, we drove to the Inn at Little Washington, one of only sixteen three-star restaurants in the U.S. and the only one south of NYC. It is about an hour from us. And what a special experience it was!

The bread cart, for example. We picked whatever we wanted, and then the server used a hot spoon to scoop some butter from that giant dome on the left, which she carefully placed on a dish along with some flaked salt that we could add to the butter. 

I'd never seen a water menu before, but we decided to try this particular bottle ($10/bottle as opposed to $85 like another option) in addition to the local Virginia water. It had a nice flavor!

It's fun to get dolled up sometimes. This particular event was especially memorable because instead of wearing what he had packed, Michael (and I) decided to rush to Kohl's on the way. Michael literally bought a suit that actually looked amazing as well as a tie, tried it on, and then checked out in like 8 minutes. It was awesome. 

An example of one of the multiple courses we enjoyed. 

I can't even remember them all, but each was delicious, thoughtful, creative, and delicious. Did I mention delicious?

A gold foil tart with ice cream (that little raspberry nugget on the side) and an edible white chocolate anniversary congratulations.

A real highlight was getting a tour of the amazing kitchen in the basement! Lots of natural light with huge windows and all the bustling sous chefs and cooks rushing around in orderly chaos. So so fun to see.

And then, to top it all off, we went to the Joshua Wilton House for our actual anniversary evening in Harrisonburg and enjoyed a beautiful meal together.

My favorite part was this card that Michael made me with a very meaningful poem on the inside. 

So grateful for 23 wonderful years.

Summer fun

 Hard to believe the summer is over! Like anything, there is opposition in all things. I could focus on the fact that this summer we had two broken wrists (Henry, Clayton), hand foot and mouth disease (Benjy, Clayton), a mercifully short-lived back injury from a tube on the lake (Robbie), a laptop ruined when a cup of water was knocked into it (mine), a lamp shattered (also mine), a 100+ pound desk hutch which fell on Henry who miraculously escaped with only some bruised ribs and scrapes, multiple swim goggles lost, innumerable scrapes, cuts, bonks, fights, tears, door slams, and unkind words, plus verticillium wilt and Mexican bean beetles in the garden, again. However, for every bad thing that happened there were a dozen wonderful things, a few of which I'll highlight below.

Henry turned 10! Crazy. He had a fun birthday party with friends despite the fact that he fell on his wrist right before the party prepping a water balloon obstacle relay in the backyard. He decided to have the party anyway and we learned he had broken his wrist. But what a beast to be able to press forward through the pain to have his party anyway!

During the afore-mentioned birthday party, Clayton fell all the way down the stairs. He also broke his same wrist. So grateful for good doctors at UVA who could put waterproof casts on them so they were still able to swim at the pool. What a blessing!

Blueberry mint lemonade after picking blueberries is truly a highlight of the summer for me.

Another blessing--having a wonderful dad in our lives! Robbie made the yellow trophy for Michael at a local pottery shop and glazed it and then it was fired. Pretty impressive.

Got a great garlic crop, yay!

Henry and Robbie had a great swim season, and Benjy even graduated to the official Barracuda team and participated in his first swim meet. Very proud of them.

We had a lovely visit from the Armstrongs and the Allreds. So much fun and the kids all got along really well.

Melody and cute Daisy.

Boat time baby!

Cousin youth temple trips--so special.

Matt was able to bless Daisy with Michael and Uncle Tommy's help as well. What a sweet privilege to be part of that.

The next week we were thrilled to have a visit from Uncle Clay, Amie, Lia, and Cailey and Colin as well as Colin's brother, Kobe, who currently lives in WV. 

 

They were incredibly kind to our kids and it was a blast hanging out with them.

We boated to a restaurant for the first time. It was tough trying to parallel park with a boat, but Michael managed to find a spot and got in and out without hitting any other boats. Phew!

Super yummy!

Uncle Clay brought his fishing gear and taught our boys how to fish. So precious.

And of course we celebrated Uncle Clay's birthday on the 4th! Cailey made him some amazing pumpkin pies from scratch.

Riven Rock park is another yearly highlight for us.

Then Robbie turned 13--wow. He had a fun party at Riven Rock with friends and then they came back and watched Jurassic Park.

A vase of fresh hydrangeas makes a summer day even better.

Uncle Hyrum came all the way from Vegas to visit! We had a great time with him and his/our friends, the Hinkles. 

Boat time.

Hyrum is so sweet with our kids. We hope to see him again soon.

Yay for one giant heirloom tomato!

When we were in Alaska, Clara was having a blast with our babysitter and friend, Maybree Spilsbury. It was a win-win--Clara was happy about not having to go on hikes and she also had fun at home.

Maybree dropped Clara off at the lake house and played with us there for a couple of days. She has been such a blessing to us and a true answer to prayer.

One of my dreams is to have my family play games together. We have some competitive, passionate, and sensitive spirits in our home, and this moment where the older three boys (with Clayton looking on) were playing well, having fun, and managing conflict without throwing cards, walking away, or crying, was truly a golden one. I pray we have more like it.

Clayton turned 4! I can't believe it. How did he get so big? He is in a very self-conscious stage and didn't want to be sung to, but he survived. We invited our friends, the Petersons, over to celebrate with us. Clayton initially asked for a blue cake exactly like Benjy's from last week, but I persuaded him to have something different (for my own sanity) and so he requested a dinosaur cake with a volcano. It's one of those creations where it looks super amazing if you blur your eyes and look from a distance. Just don't look too close ;-).

We ended the summer with the Rockingham County fair, fun in the pool, more library trips, movies and video games, board games like Harry Potter Monopoly, Cover Your Assets, and time with friends. 

We're gearing up for school again but so grateful for such a wonderful summer.