TREK!

Clara came back from trek yesterday. I was nervous about her going, but Michael was confident and we pressed forward, taking a step into the dark. We had corresponded with the trek stake leader, Brother Bean, and made a "trek IEP" for her at the suggestion of another leader. He forwarded it on to her trek ma and pa, Terri and Ernie Calhoun. They were amazing.

We borrowed some clothes from a woman in our ward. Here she is at drop-off. She was feeling pretty good (the night before she was telling me, "You're making me do this!" and I immediately said, "No, Clara, if you don't want to do this, we'll just unpack everything and put it away. You have to want to do this." Unlike some things, I didn't feel like trek was a "requirement" for her. She felt up for it. But that afternoon as I drove home from DC in literally the worst thunderstorm I've ever driven in, I was so worried about her and wondering if we'd done the right thing. I was concerned not only for her but also for her "family" and how it would go for them.

Michael's sister Melody is here with us now and graciously did her hair the night before. So cute!

 A kind friend sent me these pics of Clara during the women's pull. Her ma and pa were very strategic about where they put her on the cart.

 Awesome.

 Love that determination!

Many people knew how hard it would be for Clara, and everyone was so incredibly supportive. I am continually humbled by the kindness of both leaders and other youth towards her, especially when she generally appears to be oblivious to their effort or help.

Here is her "family." (Clara opted not to put on her bonnet or apron again.)

Coming to Zion! Her ma, Terri, wrote me later and said that Clara nearly quit at the end. I have to include her email in response to my gratitude for her help. She wrote:

She was such a trooper!!! On more than one occasion I told her "You might stop giving me my usual Sunday hugs... cause this is what you gotta do..." 

What really helped me was the email that Bro Bean forwarded to me, Clara's trek IEP. I kept that in my mind the whole time, the best ways to help her. There were only a few times where I felt I was more forcing than giving a choice. But as soon as she heard that her sisters needed her help, it became her choice. 

Yes, she did ask numerous times what the plan was, how many miles (I wish I knew), and when we were getting to the finish for the day. I just kept assuring her that she could do this, she could do hard things. I knew my answers frustrated her, but it also seemed to spur her on in a way.

Ernie or I stayed behind the cart with her, encouraged her to help push, only a few times did she actually push "against her will" (more of a way for us to help her keep up). She would call out my name at any point when I was with her and I knew she just needed my hand; she didn't ask for it specifically, but I knew it was what she needed to get down those nasty slippery slopes. I kept reminding her to trust her feet to know what to do and to trust herself. Usually, by the time we reached the bottom of many of the rocky hills she had a smile of supreme satisfaction.

She did an awesome job during the women's pull. I knew she may not have been as physically up to it as the other girls, so I tried to put her in a position to be helpful but safe if her strength failed her. Only twice did Ernie need to be that extra help on her rope to help keep the wagon in place. I, in turn, help push from where she was in the back. I didn't feel right asking such a difficult task of my girls without doing it myself (even though I wasn't supposed to help at all). It was after that that she truly felt stronger and even said "I am stronger than my brother now." 

She "demanded" hugs, I happily provided cause I knew it gave her something she needed. She asked for help on tasks I knew she could do, only a few times did I actually have to help ("You can do hard things Miss Clara, you got this, just try for me"). 

What really impressed me, her sisters embraced her, helped her, encouraged her all before I could pull them aside to let them know the struggles Clara would be facing. Lucy help her tie her shoes once, Aspen pleaded for her to go to the dance with them. Camille asked when and where Clara would like to help so she wouldn't feel excluded. Hallie and January were her constant words of encouragement. 

Not one person complained if Clara didn't help, not one word of teasing escaped their lips when Clara's reaction/responses were not "normal." The whole three days and two nights consisted of a family relationship every parent dreams of.

Clara almost gave up. Right before the last hike she had told one of the quartermasters that she had a headache. He tried to encourage her to come with us as he had to stay behind to clean (he had the air conditioned truck). My response was to say "Think of the look on your momma's face when you cross into Zion with your family. She is going to see the strength in you. She is going to see that you can do hard things." Yes, she grudgingly came with us, but I know she needed to in order to really feel stronger. When we crossed o er that last ridge I pointed out the parent cars and told her that I will look for long red hair (I wish my eye sight was that good), that helped give her that last bit of strength to run with me into Zion... to find you.

Clara did so well with this monumental task that was asked of her. I am very proud of her.

 She was in tears when I saw her, and I was so proud of her finishing strong.

She did it! She told me more than once on the way home, "I'm stronger than I was!" and last night she said she missed her friends. What a blessing that so many supported her, that Michael helped me through my doubts, and that she pushed through and worked so hard. I asked her if she'd felt the Spirit, and she said, "Kinda, during solo time." Baby steps :-).